Let it burn

Because Of You

Ronnie's POV: 3 months later

I was headed to the studio to work on some music. As I drove I couldn't help but feel my harshness towards Emilyn was wrong. Much to my displeasure her words stuck with me. We were infact the same although I hate to admit it. Jacky said I was an idiot and well I felt it. I always sabotage things when they are going great. Sure I wasn't the father and I had worked myself up to being a dad again. It wasn't the news I wanted but if Juliet of all people could be content being the bonus mom why couldn't I do the same? I could, Emilyn told me that but there was something that made me run. There was this fear I suppose that it would be like having Charlee all over again. That no matter if I put a ring on her finger she would run straight to Andy. I hated that. I hated that these Monroe women were always entangled in these love triangles. If Charlee and Emilyn were spiting images of each other I'd hate to hear the stories of their mother. No father figure definitely left them raised on their mothers poor life choices. Hell who am I to judge? My mother was no better. I'm starting to think I should fix things with Emilyn. After all she was my second chance with Charlee. Pulling up to the studio it's as if God had his plan already in motion. Emilyn stepped out of the car and to my surprise sporting platinum blonde hair and pieces of soft pink peaking through. Her hair was much shorter and styled in light waves. Emilyn walks across the parking lot and spots me stopping in her tracks.

"Stalking me now Radke?" She asks harshly and I laugh.

"Why on god's earth would I be stalking you?" I ask just as harsh. Why? You want to patch things up yet here you are being an asshole.

"Didn't realize your band was doing this well." She says walking into the lobby.

"Didn't realize you were doing that well either. I guess your sugar daddy is paying for this." I say narrowing my eyes at her.

"Must I remind you of my sister?" She spits and I chuckle.

"Makes sense now. Piggy backing off her success." I say and she glares at me.

"How she ever loved you is beyond me." She says and although it hurt I clap back at her.

"You loved me once. So I guess you know the answer to that one." I say and she chuckles.

"We fucked a few times. Wouldn't call it love you self absorbed narc." She says before heading down the hall.

"Glad I didn't fall for you. Your sister was definitely hotter and actually worthy of my love. Pity you don't hold the same qualities you'd actually be likeable." I say and she stops in the hallway. Her fists balled and I could see her body shake with rage.

"Ronnie!" Jacky says stepping out before pausing. He scratched the back of his head and walked back into the room.

"Yeah and I'm glad that this child isn't yours because God help the two you already have. Your a piece of shit and I only pray that Sally teaches them right because we both know you aren't anything special. The way you treat women is sickening and how you talk about them is even worse. Besides a drug fucked asshole most definitely isn't going to give them the life they deserve. I'm only glad my sister won't have to sit by and watch as you fuck up her child!" Emilyn shouts at me and I stood there completely shattered to hear everything she just said. My biggest fear by far was just answered. I wasn't going to be an amazing father. The fear of fucking up my children was an internal battle I fought daily. I suppose I would fuck them up. The things I've done, the negativity that would follow them forever and the questions they'd some day ask or read about. I was not fit to be a father and she just reminded me of why I didn't want another one. Without another word I walk into the studio room and slump against the door. My band mates looking at me waiting for me to break.