Tribulation [h.s]

49

"N-nothing," she breaks after months of torment and agony. Finally, she's numb. "I am nothing."

-

My mind stutters when I open my eyes. I can't process anything, only how my body tingles and buzzes with the aftermath of being electrocuted with shock and fear. I feel as if I had flatlined and was brought back against my will, and now oxygen violently fills my lungs as I gasp for air.

I can't move. My limbs lockout on me, and my body stiffens. I feel as if I'm chained to my bed, and a sinking feeling settles in my bones when I realize I can't move.

I'm scared. This hasn't happened in a long time. I wish I could say it was just a nightmare that caused this paralysis, but that'd be a lie. It was a memory, something I buried deep under all the drugs and alcohol, but the numbness substances gave me has long passed since I got sober.

I've been clean for a while now. It was only a matter of time before this happened. However, that doesn't change the fact that I feel like a child every time this happens. I feel stupid.

Hades is gone. He can't hurt me anymore. But, even from the grave, it seems that man is still trying to ruin me.

Whenever I relive events, my body freezes, I wake up paralyzed, and I see things I know aren't really there. It's terrifying, and honestly? It's moments like these where I wish I could run to my father and listen to him sing to me one last time. His arms were my lifevest. His arms were my home.

It's strange. My IQ is above 167, and, by definition, I have the closest thing proven to have an eidetic memory. Yet, remembering my father becomes harder and harder each year. The one thing I wish never to forget seems to be the only thing slipping from my mind the fastest.

I feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with me. There aren't many people like me. People were always enamored by me — adored me — for just being me; for being a genius, one of a kind, the child Prodigy that was theorized to be the upcoming da Vinci of our time.

But everything comes with a price. The price being my sanity.

I wish I could go back to the moment that changed everything for me, the day Hades convinced me to pull that trigger. It was that moment that set into motion my downfall. It was a moment that stripped me of my free will, crushed my dreams and aspirations, and robbed me of my innocence and happiness.

He took everything from me.

I want to take my power back and prove to myself that I could choose to move on. But, for as smart as I am, I haven't figured out how to build a time machine.

Such a pity.

I slowly move when the tension in my limbs eases. I sit on the edge of my bed, my head resting in my hands as I just breathe. Living in a constant state of panic and reliving the most traumatic moments of my life is debilitating.

I hear my bedroom door creak open and the pitter-patter of tiny feet. When I lift my head from my hands, I see Maggie. She has a bowl in her hands filled with milk and my favorite cereal. She bites her lip as she concentrates on not dropping the bowl and walks closer to me, but after one particularly ungraceful step, she spills some milk on her hand.

"Oh shoot," she curses softly to herself. It's so adorable I can't help but smile.

Her grin is precious. It's a goofy crooked smile that melts all the tension off my bones. She presents the bowl to me. "I made you breakfast!"

"Thank you, baby," I say, taking the bowl from her.

"You're welcome," she quips. When I look at my alarm, I realize it's around ten o'clock in the morning. Before I can say anything, Maggie exclaims, "You gotta get up! Up, up, up!"