Tribulation [h.s]

33

"I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking
But I found a different buzz
The world is a curse, it'll kill if you let it
I know they got pills that can help you forget it
They bottle it, call it medicine
But I don't need drugs."

**DOUBLE UPDATE

-

The house is quiet, without Maggie here. There's no giggling; there's no pitty patter of tiny feet down the hallway. It's just Cheddar and me tonight, and he's curled up in my lap, purring while I rub his tummy.

There's a knock at my door around six-thirty. The rhythmic thuds echo through my flat. I placed the book I had been reading down after creasing the corner of the page I was on, careful not to lose my place. Then, I gently pick up Cheddar and lay him down on the couch beside me to stand. I had expected Harry to be at the door, but instead, I found a black box wrapped delicately with a red satin bow. When I lift the sleek box, I slip out the notecard that had been held down under the perfectly tied ribbon.

- H

How inconspicuous.

Cheddar follows me down the hall and into my room. He's still too small to jump on my bed. So, after a few persistent and desperate meows, I pick up the noisy cat and help him out. When he plops down on one of my pillows, he watches as I place the black box on my bed. Then, I pick up my phone and send Harry a quick text.

Allie:
Sent - 6:00pm
Gucci? Really?

Harold:
Received - 6:01pm
The red one was my favorite

I roll my eyes. Of course, he ignores my question.

When it's seven-thirty, I finish doing my makeup — a black Smokey eye with a red lip, and shortly after, I finish doing my hair that I pin back in a neat bun. All I need to do now is figure out what dress to wear. I could pick the red dress like Harry suggested or purposefully wear a different one just to piss him off.

...

Yeah, I'm feeling petty tonight.

So, I folded the red dress and neatly put it back in the box. Now, all I have left to inspect is the royal green dress and the black dress.

The royal green dress is pretty – a mix between lace and silk. The top, in particular, is lacy and dips down between the breasts to reveal some cleavage. It stays tight and fits around the mid-section up until around the hips, where the bottom drape is flowy and free. The dress is beautiful, and seeing as how green is slowly becoming my favorite color, I should pick this dress but –

I don't think I'm ready for it.

This dress is elegant and beautiful, but it reveals every part of my body I try to hide. It's not like Candy is here either to help cover my scars with makeup either.

That leaves the black dress.

It's much simpler than the other dresses, yet sophisticated and refined. The dress holds only one long sleeve on the left arm, leaving the right arm bare and uncovered. There's a leg slit on the left leg, and it reaches up to about the middle thigh. It looks tight for the most part, but it does seem to loosen around the legs to be somewhat flowy and movable. It's meant to fit snuggly around my body.

So, I slide on the black dress, the suede fabric sliding pleasantly over my skin. It's a struggle to zip the back, but I manage. I have no idea how I'll take it off, though.

When I look in the mirror, I'm a bit uncomfortable, but I don't feel horrible. I can stare at my reflection a little longer these days.

I inspect each part of me – my arms, thighs, stomach. I even turn around and crane my neck to look over my shoulder. As it turns out, I'm not as lucky as I thought. One of my scars is peaking out from the fabric and any and all confidence I had previously drained away.