Aspen Falls

ACE -- January 10th

      "You had your something so now I get to ask you something."  I hooked my leg over his hip and moved to straddle Beau.

      Beau's hands went up and down my back.  "Ask away ACE."

      I leaned over so I was laying on Beau's torso while still straddling him.  I put my arm under my chin and used my free hand to trace the aces on his peck...my aces.  "What did H mean when he said you did extensive research?"

      He went to tracing the end of my shorts, back and forth.  "Seems like something you should ask him ACE.  Last I checked I don't look like Hunter."

      I pinched his neck, right by his earlobe.  "Good thing because if you looked like Hunter then you'd be after Bristol.  And this 'us' thing we have would definitely 100% be weird."

      "You brat, that hurt."  He rubbed his neck a little.

     I rolled my eyes.  "Baby seal then."

      Beau pinched my ass.  "There is nothing baby about me ACE."  His sexy smirk was in place.  "This conversation is bound to somehow get me in trouble soo let's change it and you tell me what you're talking about."

      "You said it yourself too."

      "Hmm?"  Smirk got bigger.  "I've said a lot of things when it comes to you..."

      "I'll fucking pinch you again.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.  H wanted to understand and said that you would understand better because you'd done the extensive research.  Then you followed that by saying you'd done research just not my specific brain.  So what did y'all mean?  You've researched self harm?"

      Beau leaned up and threaded his fingers thru my hair and pulled me in for a kiss.  Then before I knew what happened he had me flipped back onto my back under him.  He went to lightly kissing my neck, running his hand up under my shirt.  "Distraction isn't going to work babe.  I've been wondering about this too long...my brain has been on overload with it."

      He propped himself on his elbow and grinned down at me.  "I wasn't distracted."  I glared at him, fingers pinch ready.  "Okay okay ACE.  Yes.  I have.  Is that what you wanna hear?  After I saw you in the hospital, saw all the scars and cuts on your arm, then found out that Arch had done something of the same thing...Jesus Aspen.  I just wanted to know more.  Wanted to know why?  And how long?  And what drove people to causing pain to themselves.  I have done some pretty fucked up shit with my team or on my own but I either drank away the pain and memories or I took on severely risky missions.  I worked out.  Weights, ran, boxed...shot shit.  They train us to compartmentalize and desensitize ourselves to a lot of shit.  Your brothers and I?  We're kinda the best at that. Shut our shit down.  Don't let anything get to us.  But when I saw you and the methods you used to deal with whatever your brain was working thru?  I couldn't do anything I had always been trained to do.  I wanted to know everything."

      "You could have asked."  It was barely a whisper out of my mouth and I couldn't believe I'd just said that to him.  "I mean...we were inseparable and more than best friends...I cain't guarantee that I would have told you then but...I would have tried to work thru it.  For you."

      "And I love you for that baby.  But if you remember....that time in the hospital for you was somewhat of an ending for us."  His smile was sad and my heart hurt. "I wanted more.  Everything and anything I could get my hands on.  I even tracked down some of the base therapists.  Asked questions...I couldn't stop.  I definitely got sucked into a black hole."

      "Okay..."  I was running my finger over his chest.  God, how did I finally get so lucky to call him mine?  He really tried, even when we weren't 'us', he tried to understand what was happening to me.  What I was doing to myself and why.  "So you learned a lot."