After your accident in Canada, you've finally decided to return to Korea with Irene. You've finally decided that your stay in Canada— a place where you used to feel happy in, has to come to an end.
Despite the urge to stay for your niece and nephew, you know that your home is in Korea. Although staying in Canada, near your brother's place, is a bit promising, it's still too risky because of your parents. You've already made your contact with them as a 'nobody' and you can't make any relationships any more than as your brother's patient.
Same old, same old, your therapy continues as well as your medications. Although it makes your stomach churn because of the side effects, it eases your thoughts and recalibrates your emotions.
After a month of staying at home for your recovery, this day was the first day you ever came home late— or at least, had gotten yourself out of your company's building. It's already midnight, and the only people left in your workplace are the guards and some of your animation crew. They have been filling your place ever since your boss had given you a month brake for your injuries. Despite your friends and co-workers not minding your absence, the feeling of guilt is starting to eat you up.
Why did you allow them to take your place?
Why haven't you worked from home instead?
You've been a burden to them for a month, are you not ashamed?
A lot of things are starting to fill your thoughts, and most of them are negative ones. However, someone was able to pull you out of your thoughts, Irene.
She didn't do anything right now to distract you, it's just that you remembered that you have a date with her tomorrow after her rehearsal with her members.
Thinking about it just made your day even better, despite it happening tomorrow. Come to think of it, ever since you went solo in everything, your friends and some of your family members had been the only ones that kept you mentally stable. Although it wasn't a permanent solution to your mental health problems, being with these people has helped you greatly.
You owe them your life, you owe them every single breath that you have right now.
Upon walking in the quiet streets of Seoul, you noticed how calm and peaceful it looks during the evening— or at least, at any given time as long as it's dark.
The air seemed fresh, the street lights are calming, and everything just felt right. For now. Upon returning to the ever-so-familiar streets of Korea, you were able to compare the land that you walk on to Vancouver.
Canada is where you grew up, it's where you learned how to stand up for yourself and how you were able to learn that even families can easily be torn apart. Here in Korea, you were able to learn how to live alone.
Perhaps there is a huge difference between growing up and living, maybe you prefer the stage that you are in right now— which is living.
Ever since you left your family, or at least your parents, you were able to taste freedom. Much to your surprise, it was bland. Your version of freedom is both independence and isolation, you are left alone for good but left to live alone at the same time.
You always wonder if there's still a purpose to everything that you're doing right now and if everything that you do still matters to how you're going to live your life in the latter time. If, ever, you are going to live.
But all this can wait, right? After all, you still have something big to do with Irene tomorrow. Rather than thinking about these horrid things, why not think about the other events in your life? You've always been so focused on the negative things in your life, that you forget that other things make living a bit bearable. Who can blame you though? Almost nothing in your life made living happy and enjoyable for you, as a transgender man, everything that you do screams hardship and challenge.
You have to fight for a lot of things. Love, life, rights, and simple things such as health care. It's ridiculous how the most basic of things still need to be fought for— for you to acquire.
Sometimes, you wish that you are a biological man. Actually, it's every day that you wish you are a biological man. Not this kind of synthetic man that needed hormonal treatment for you to appear manly, and for you to have parts of a "real" man.
Come to think of it, it's quite hilarious how coming back home, means coming back to your pent-up rage. You were able to forget about your worries when you were still in Canada, to the point that you forgot that you have a lot of things to deal with once this small "reunion", with the people who genuinely love you, is over.
No matter, what you need to do for now is to go back home and rest. We'll think about these things again after you take a rest. For now, you will think about nothing but Irene.
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The gay is back. I am gay
YOU ARE READING
The End Of All Good Things
FanfictionY/N Lee, an arts major that left Korea to study in Canada. He came back to Korea to live his remaining days, and got reunited with his childhood friend Bae Joohyun. Little did Joohyun know, Y/n has some things in his head that bothers him greatly...
