The End Of All Good Things

Part 14: Kimchi and Maple syrup

After eleven hours of flight from Korea to Canada, you are now able to properly stretch your limbs. Although sitting and laying down had been the constant thing you did all out the trip, not being able to walk still bothered your body so much.

After your brother sent you his address and location, you hopped in a cab and went straight to your hotel first before stopping by his house.

Looking outside of the window, you saw how beautiful Vancouver has been ever since you left. You're not even sure if it got prettier after your parents kicked you out of their care, but it sure did look peaceful and nostalgic.

The ride from the airport to your hotel was quite long, but it was still eventful. You were able to have a meaningful and interesting conversation with your driver, and he was quite shocked that you can speak and understand English very well. You never got bored on your way to your old place, technically, you're going to a hotel- but you get the point.

After you dropped your things in your hotel room, you took the two huge tubs of kimchi for your brother and his family. Despite marrying a foreigner, his wife still loved Korean food. Good thing she wasn't picky, because oftentimes people outside your culture mocks your tradition.

Maybe your brother was the main character of this family, you simply were born just so the people who get to meet you will have their own character development.

After ringing their doorbell, hurried footsteps can be heard behind the doors of his house. Upon opening it, two little hyper kids welcomed you back.

"Uncle Y/N!"

They said in unison. You knelt down to hug them both, missing the warmth of your niece and nephew.

"Oh my god, I missed you guys so much! Look at you Stephanie, you've gotten prettier!"

The little girl smiled her brightest, smiling from ear to ear.

"And you little man, you look cooler! You even got teeth now!"

Despite Sooho's shy nature, your encouragement lifted the little man's confidence. Showing you his gummy smiles. Not long after, your brother walked towards you and his kids.

There he is, the only family member that loves you dearly. The only one who stood by your side until you were able to come out of your closet.

"Welcome back home, Y/N"

With that, you immediately stood up and hugged your brother tightly. Your head is buried on his chest, while your arms are wrapped tightly around his torso.

It has been a long time since you were able to give him a visit, although you were able to find a place after your parents kicked you out of their house, your intrusive thoughts hindered you from visiting your brother. Resulting in you to miss a lot of important events about your nephew and niece.

As your tears threaten to fall, you sucked it all up. You clearly don't want to show your weak side to your brother's kids, you want to be a brave example to them- that despite the unending transphobia and homophobia you're facing, you can still show them that your eyes are bright and dry. You plan to keep it that way.

After pulling away from the hug, your brother ruffled your hair.

"By the way, I got you guys some kimchi. I bought a piece of Korea here in Canada"

"Finally, some authentic food. I'm kind of getting tired of these rip-off flavors around these parts of the neighborhood"

To make the story short, you stayed at your brother's house until dinner. Despite the exhaustion from your flight, you asked them out and they gladly toured you in the places they loved visiting.

Upon sitting at the dinner table, being surrounded by your brother's family, you can't deny that their house is warmer and cozier than yours. Despite having heaters and thick blankets, their presence was enough to radiate heat around the house.

Was this the feeling that you missed growing up? Perhaps this is the experience you failed to have, not because you did something wrong, but because you were deprived of affection, support, and love by the same people who used 'love' to bring you here on earth- but sometimes, you can't help and think that maybe you were never formed out of love at all. Were you only made out of need, not with desire?

Sometimes the things that you compare yourself with from your brother makes you think lowly of yourself, despite achieving great things in life, why do they seem like they never felt right?

"Y/N, are you okay?"

"Huh?"

Upon looking at your brother, the rest of the family members were looking worriedly at you too.

"You were spacing out, you barely touched your food"

"Does it taste off, Y/N? Would you like me to get you another serving?"

Hearing your sister-in-law's voice snapped you out of your trance, making the chef think that you didn't like the food made you want to bury yourself alive because of embarrassment.

"O-oh no, I really love the food. I'm sorry, something just came up in my head. I nearly forgot that I will have to finish my sketches later, once I got to my hotel room"

Tracy gave you a small smile and was relieved, same goes with you. At least you were able to save yourself from oversharing on your first day of giving your brother a visit.

She then spoke, breaking the silence.

"Say... was your job hard in Korea?"

"It was at first, considering that drawing needs time. At the same time, the company needs it as soon as possible"

"But why don't you move back here in Canada, the animating companies here are extremely worker-friendly"

She has a point, but going back here means that your past will too. Not that you don't want to spend your time with your brother and his family, but you don't want to risk your mental health upon accidentally meeting your parents here.

"I really wanted to, Noona... but yeah, my parents. They aren't exactly a fan of me, despite having some fans in Korea"

"I see, I'm sorry"

Then, she held your freehand.

"But I want you to know that I, too, welcome you here in our house. Not only your brother favors you for wanting to move with us if you wanted too, but also with me and the kids"

"Yeah!"

"It would be cool if you'd teach us draw like you, uncle Y/N"

Looking at the kids who joined the supportive words of your sister-in-law, you are a hundred percent sure that these kids will grow up in a safest home environment.

They will never experience abuse, homophobia, broken family, and lack of emotional support. You are genuinely happy upon realizing this thing about them, but in reality, you wish to be in their shoes even just for a day; to get a glimpse of how it looks to be in a healthy environment, even just for a day.

Opening the door of your hotel room, the gloomy feeling of being alone and independent came back to you. It was just minutes ago when you felt the coziest, and now your surroundings matched the coldest place there is on earth.

Before the sad things in your head wake up, Irene's messages got to you first. The continuous dings on your phone made you chuckle, although you did tell her that you will be turning your phone off, she can't seem to stop herself from checking and messaging you.

Reading her texts was able to make you smile, Irene always made sure that no matter where you go- you will always feel that she's right by your side.

Before you were able to sleep, a small hole in your heart was able to be patched by your brother- not to mention, the person who stayed loyal to you even before you came out as a transman.

The girl who was adored by everyone, but only you were the ones she worshiped the most.

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I listened to "Home" by Edith Whiskers, just so I can write something for this bridge. A bigger plot is going to happen in the next one, hoping that you'll stay with me on this one :)