Wolf & Coyote Mercenary Services [Looney Tunes AU]

Episode 15: The Concept of Love

WARNING: This chapter contains descriptions/implications of sexual themes (including dubious/nonconsensual intercourse (non-explicit but implied) and harassment (primarily verbal in nature but still present)) and blood/gore. Please read with caution.

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The same evening as the Dia de los Muertos celebration, in a dark, cramped laboratory, Pepé sits under the lamp's light, cautiously tearing away at the parcel. Hidden underneath the paper covering is an old and worn leather-bound journal, secured with a scratched-up lock. Though he cannot explain the reason, when he sees the journal he feels a sense of déjà vu arising. I don't see any key, and there is a great amount of damage around the hole. Whatever's in this journal is extremely important.

He searches through his desk drawers, choosing from the assortment of medical tools in his repertoire. Unearthing a scalpel and needles, he gets to work.

It takes him far longer than he had predicted, but once the lock snaps open, he breathes a sigh of relief. He opens the journal and starts reading. As his eyes drift through the words, memories flood in, muffled voices and blurred images gradually becoming clear.

***

Many years ago, in Montréal, there stood a series of factory and research buildings. Above all of them, marked on the tall center facility was the name "ACME Corporation". In the sterile white halls of the company, a bespectacled skunk walked side-by-side with a gray rabbit.

"I cannot thank you enough for this opportunity," said the skunk. "After years of hard work and study, my genius is finally recognized! Mais pourquoi moi? Why go as far as to hire some back-alley doctor from the slums?"

"Because, Henri," the rabbit answered in a strange American accent, "your pharmaceutical talents are second to none. Word spreads fast in the seedy underground, and when rumors about you reached the surface world, I got curious. Besides, here in ACME, all Sapients are given a fair chance."

The two stopped before a door labeled "Research Lab", and the rabbit continued. "Here's your new second home. Starting today, you'll be joining us in our top secret research project. Tell me, Mr. La Moufette, do you believe in aliens?"

Taken aback, Henri scratched his chin. "I never thought about it, but it would be interesting if they did. Mr. Bunny, you don't mean to tell me that you hired me to perform some Area 51 shenanigans, are you?"

The rabbit slid a card through the door's reader, prompting the lock to click open. "Recently, our archeological staff over in Egypt have uncovered a foreign substance hidden within the tombs of a once-lost pharaoh. It didn't take long for 'em to find more of the stuff, and after confirming it was safe to handle, they brought it over to our companies here in North America. Your job is to test the material's reactions to organic and inorganic matter and whatever else you nerdy types do. Dr. Brain can explain the details."

***

Illudium, the universal reagent. Or so that was what the researchers called it. Organic or inorganic, the strange green substance was able to dilute and attach itself to any earthly element and compound possible. Even better, with the right additions and alterations to a formula, the Illudium was capable of creating effects never before seen on this planet. Some had compared it to the Philosopher's Stone of legend, others believed it capable of creating the elixir of life. Whether those claims held truth or not, one thing was certain: Illudium was a powerful and alluring mystery. There was just one downside...

"Dr. La Moufette, the human subjects are reacting poorly to the Illudium. What do you suggest?"

Henri stood before the medical beds, occupied by human patients. They were gaunt and sickly, their skin turning green in hue. The skunk wracked his brain with all manners of speculation: radiation, overdose, poor application into the bloodstream. He knew it was not radioactive, and the application and dosage were safe and consistent with those of their Sapient and non-Sapient animal subjects. Yet while the non-humans were thriving, the humans were not.