Wolf & Coyote Mercenary Services [Looney Tunes AU]

Episode 4: Rise to Fame

The onstage shenanigans are ongoing as Wile E. delves deeper into the backstage infrastructure, shedding the costume along the way. He follows the bulldog to a wall which, with the press of an off-colored segment, opens to reveal a dark stairway leading downwards. Down, down, down he goes in a spiral, grasping at the wall to balance himself as his sight proves less reliable in the inky black abyss. Eventually, his eyes catch a sliver of faded light creeping from the ground, coming from what he can tell is a steel door. Dare he go in, unarmed and unprepared? He opens the door ajar and peeks in.

Cages and crates line the walls and shelves of the wide expansive interior. Barely within his line of sight, the sparse lights cast two shadows, one belonging to the bulldog. The first shadow hands the other a tiny, squirming shadow, with the only hint to the occurrence being something about a "buyer" who would "surely enjoy this one". Examining further, Wile eyes a stack of crates, one cracked open and full of guns ripe for the picking.

He slides and tumbles behind the crates, peeking his head over to get a better perspective. The room appears to serve as a warehouse of sorts, storing not only weapons and contraband, but live children as well. Bastards, he mutters under his breath, disgusted by the implications of their plot. On the far end is a door, which he presumes leads to a hidden exit aboveground—an ideal getaway for traffickers.

Grabbing a rifle, he progresses further and higher, managing to keep a low profile until an accidental nudging causes a crate to fall over. Alerted to the noise, the dogs turn and approach him, wielding guns of their own. Wile E. ducks and rolls, dodging the rain of bullets. At the first available opening, he loads his rifle and fires, killing one assailant and disarming the other. While the latter is distracted, he jumps down and slams the butt of the gun against their head, knocking them out instantly.

After looting the corpses' pockets for their keys, he walks over to check up on the cages. "Hey, you okay, kid?" he asks one whose cage door got scarred with a stray bullet. The child nods, and he reaches to unlock the cage when the cock of a gun stops him. Raising his hands, he says, "I should have figured they'd bring backup. So what're you waiting for?" The stranger holds out a purple-furred paw, gesturing at the keys. "I see. Well, here you go."

The stranger reaches to take the keys, but Wile swerves, kicking them off their feet, then pins them down before they can get up. Coyote raises a brow as he stares down at the purple cat. "Furrball?" The cat says nothing, putting on a strong façade as he tries to free himself from his grasp. "Listen, I don't know why you're working for Tweety, but I can tell you don't like this, either." He lets go of Furrball and tosses the keys at him. "So you're gonna help me bust these kids out. You with me?"

***

Sylvester's shock turns to rage as he jabs a clawed finger at the bird. "Listen here, you! I was willing to put up with whatever crap you wanted to throw at me—it's what I was doing even back then. But don't you dare throw my son into this."

"If you didn't wanna get Junior involved, you should've let him stay home," Tweety sing-songs as he casually flutters out of the cat's reach. "Really, you're just as stupid and reckless as ever."

He clenches and unclenches his fist, ready to punch or scratch the feathers out of him, but he concedes. "Fine, I'll play your little game." He turns and starts running for the nearest set piece.

Hector leaps and tackles the cat, pressing him against the floor. He raises a fist, laughing maliciously, and thrusts it down when...

THONK!

A cartoonish mascot costume head is sent flying and hits the bulldog. Seeing an opportunity, Sylvester kicks him away and slips loose. Growling, Hector is about to go after the cat again when he's interrupted by a loud whistle.

Standing on the far end of stage right is Ralph, fully stripped from the cheap costume he was wearing. "Let's go, lobo a perro!" the red wolf barks at him.

Hector lets out a snicker. "You don't look so tough."

"Maybe not, but I can still take you on!" Ralph rushes towards the bulldog, only to get sent flying with a single punch. Stumbling to his feet, he lets out a manic laugh. "You call that a punch? I've seen babies that hit harder!"

"You want harder? Try this!" Hector strikes the stage floor directly, smashing a hole through it and creating a miniature earthquake.

Sylvester, scaling up the backdrop as the fight below progresses, grips tightly for support when the tremors cause it to shake. He glimpses at the suspended cage, still out of his reach, and inspects the theater's infrastructure. Taking a deep breath for good measure, he mounts the nearest lighting apparatus and leaps.

The cage rocks wildly as he grabs hold of it. "Dad!" Junior cries out.

Sylvester opens his mouth to reply, but he looks up and grimaces in horror. Tweety Bird, knife in hand, saws away at the rope with sadistic glee. "Mr. Puddy Tat, I've always wanted to ask: do cats always land on their feet? Guess I'm about to find out!" Little by little, the threads pop off, and the rope is showing signs of succumbing to the pressure of their combined weight. Sylvester prepares for the worst...

"Tweety, stop!"

Everyone ceases what they're doing and turns to the source of the voice. An elderly human woman steps out from the wings, her wrinkled face contorted in a mix of anger, alarm, and concern. "You put that knife down and come here this instant! I turned a blind eye to your mistreatment of these poor creatures as part of the act, but you putting children in harm's way is where I draw the line. The police will be here any minute now, and you'll finally get the punishment you deserve."

Hearing Granny's words, Tweety's expression shifts to something different from his usual: consternation, sadness, betrayal. He puts away the knife and says, "You're right, Granny. I've been a very bad bird. I need to set an example for my young audience." Then he returns to his old self. "Oh, well, if I'm getting canceled, I may as well end this show with a bang."

With a stomp of his taloned foot, the remaining threads snap, causing the cage and Sylvester to fall. Sylvester fumbles to open the cage and free his son, succeeding just in time for Granny to swoop in to catch them both. The three of them watch as the insidious avian flies away, cackling all the while.

A gunshot rings out, as a bullet whizzes by Tweety, causing him to lose his momentum. Glaring, he scans the audience and spots Furrball, armed and aiming right at him. Standing beside him is an unfamiliar coyote, also armed, and Acme City's Deputy Chief, Sam Sheepdog. "Give up, Tweety. Show's over."