Wolf & Coyote Mercenary Services [Looney Tunes AU]

Episode 1: Welcome My New Fate

DISCLAIMER

This story is an ongoing project that is liable to changes over time. While most edits are minor, more notable edits will be brought up in the Author's Notes at the end of each chapter.


Additionally, the universe in which this story is set in is entirely an original creation. As such, canon characters featured here will have various alterations to their appearance, age, and/or personality that are specific to this particular setting, though references to canonical works will be interwoven as seen fit.

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Somewhere in a vast desert in the American southwest, a young coyote drags himself along the hot, sandy ground. The fur on his cream-colored stomach and muzzle is coated with dried blood. Tears stream from his jaundiced blue eyes. He wipes them away and stares ahead at the horizon.

A short distance ahead, a cold grey streak cuts across the yellow surface. A road of dark concrete, marked with a dotted line down the middle. Adjacent to it is a pole with a telephone attached. The coyote pup stands a bit taller, his heart filled with hope for survival.

He reaches the telephone pole, then looks back. The trail he traveled and all surrounding it is barren. A bittersweet feeling twinges inside him, but he shakes it off. From here on out, he has only himself to rely on. Himself and...

He picks up the phone and dials a number. Through its speaker, a voice says, "ACME Corporation! How may I help you?"

The pup, voice cracked from dehydration and disuse, whimpers, "I... I would like to make an order."

"Okay, and what's your name?"

Composing himself, he says, "Wile E. Coyote."

***

Twelve years later...

In a fertile green valley, up on the cliffside, a big, pale-coated dog sits by the cliffside, watching vigilantly over the flock of sheep grazing below. All is peaceful until, one by one, the sheep start disappearing.

Below the ground, a dark figure lurks, sawing holes around where the sheep stand, then proceeding to swap it out with a decoy. The perpetrator snickers sinisterly, proud of his clever switcheroo act which their guardian will never notice—or so he would like to believe. Little does he know, the dog noticed, and so had already prepared a trick of his own. As the sheep thief grabs hold of his prey, relishing in its woolen glory, the charcoal black "face" opens up and sucker punches him with a spring-loaded boxing glove, knocking him out.

The work whistle blares from a distance, and the dog leaves his perch to head in that direction. Attached to a tree is a time clock, from which the dog punches out with his time card. Following behind is a red-nosed wolf with auburn fur, looking worse for wear. "Are you okay, Ralph?" asks the dog as the wolf punches out. "That last stunt of yours was pretty underwhelming. I know you can do better than that."

"Ain't that an understatement," the wolf, Ralph, replies with a sigh of exasperation. "Y'know, Sam, I've been thinking... maybe it's time for a change. Find a mate, settle down, do something I'm more passionate about. Sheep stealing ain't really doing much for me these days."

"Frankly, I've been thinking the same myself. Since ol' McDonald bought the farm, things haven't been the same." His deep, stoic voice belies his grief; to him, the old farmer was more than just a boss, he was a friend to all the working canines. Suddenly struck with an idea, he says, "Hey, you remember my big brother, Solomon? He moved up north to some big city last year. If you'd like, I can pull a few strings and find us some work there."

"Work in the city? Isn't this a bit sudden? Surely your wife will–"

"She won't mind. Delilah's pretty easygoing. Plus, I think the kids will have a better future living outside the dog village. So are you going or not?"

Ralph looks behind at the rural valley stretched towards the horizon. As mundane as the scenery has become to him, it is also home. Is he willing to part with this for the concrete jungle? He has never been to the city, but he had heard of it being a place of opportunities, sensations, and freedom.

Freedom. That's what is missing in his life. Life in the countryside is peaceful, but he desires something else, some hidden need that this quiet, conservative environment cannot fulfill.

Turning back to his coworker, the sheep thief smiles. "Tell Solly I'm coming along. The sooner, the better."

Sam smiles back. "I thought you'd say that. I'll talk things out with the family and call you later."

The two give their usual farewells and part ways. As Ralph heads back home, his mind reels with fantasies of his citybound future. He'll live in a cozy apartment, discover his true calling, and even find a lover to call his own. He eventually finds his way into his den, and as he settles down in his bed, he stares out the window, catching a peek of the bright moon in the dark sky. Starting tomorrow, his new life begins.