Fighting For Eachother

garbage

I woke up feeling like shit, not knowing where the fuck I am and how I ended up falling asleep and also, I smell some shit.

I feel like I'm some bag of a garbage. Like, my life feels like a garbage. Bruh.

I looked around me and I see that I'm in some area that I of course don't know and I was sitting besides...this will be ironic but...

garbage!!!! Yay!!!!

I don't want to liveeeeeeee

I turned my phone on and saw that I had missed calls from Ria, other numbers but it said 'hey it's Mason' and James, then I saw message from the doctor which called 'my parents' and message from my.....ballet teacher.. oh shit

I opened that one first and it said that she will cut me off show beacuse I didn't showed up on any class. Lovely!

I texted her that I will show up tomorrow and today and that she can't find anyone better than me. I know that sounds so bitchy but I convinced her. Easy.

Then I opened message from doctor and she said that I need to show up today. Bro tf. If your a doctor, you ask me not tell me orders. I typed that 'I can't, that I'm finally home in my city'. Let's hope she's stupid and believes me.
Who the fuck does she think she is?

I opened messages from Ria. She was really worried I don't even know why. I messaged her that she doesn't have to worry and that I'm fine and that she can tell Mason and James that too.

I sighed and got up slowly, but my head still hurts and I am going front and back.

I looked at Google maps and it said that it will take me ALMOST TWO HOURS

almost.

So I called taxi and waited. God, I have so much things to do. I plan on going to house now and grab some stuff and then never come back. My parents won't even be at the house beacuse they're work started few minutes ago.

Taxi came, I got into the backseat and told him street that is close to my street.

I don't really like getting in the car with strangers, especially taxi. Ew. God.

"Where to hun?" The female voice asked and I looked up to see that it's woman. Thank God.

I told her the address of the street that is close to my street

I won't say I'm scared, because I was living or better said surviving/ dying in that house for 17 years now and I know how it is, but...little part of me is afraid- I don't know. I don't want to go.

But like I said, I tried to run away. I did. But, they found me every time.

First time was when I was ten, second time was when I was thirteen and the last time I tried to run away was when I was fourteen.

I didn't tried it anymore. Beacuse everytime I did, I was close to death. Beacuse of them. And- it was just so terrible, I - I can't talk about it. I don't want to have panick attack in taxi car.

I came to terms with the fact that this will be my life till I die. Hopefully, soon. I don't know why God can't let me in heaven or hell idk.

I tried to kill myself and they ALSO tried. But. I'm still here.

I sighed and unlocked my phone not wanting to think about it anymore.
I got message, few minutes ago, from library that I need to bring them the books I borrowed. *Sigh*

Also, I got message from Ria asking me if I want to hang out with her. I of course said yes etc, and told her that I will call her when I'm free. 

"That'll be 5€ " she said and I give the driver the money