Fighting For Eachother

fight

What do I do?
What do I do now?

I don't know what to say. What to do anymore. At this point I think I lost all the shits.

And I just need one thing. One fucking thing. And that is either to get out of this fucking hospital or to just do it here.

Just. Just one line.

I need to.

I'm panicking that someone will see me, so I'm turning my head back and front the whole time.

Ria's gone, I convinced her that I will be okay.

.

.

Oh.

Fuck.

I just released. What if they're going to put me back in the hospital.

And I mean, the mental hospital. I mean, the Psych ward. No no. Fucking shit fucking hell hell no. Hell no.

No. No. No. No. No.

I kicked my head at the back of this bed.

I did this to myself. I fucking did it.

Why ON EARTH could I possibly think that I WILL BE DEAD.

I've had so many, so many suicide attempts. I've have been beaten up so many fucking times. Every fucking day. AND I. AM STILL. ALIVE.

Why. Why God WHY.

I'm that gross that even God doesn't want me. Bruh.

I've flinched when the doors opened. Kayden walked in and no one was behind him.

"What are you doing here?" I'm confused

He scoff "You really think that we will leave you alone after everything? Nope." He said and sat at the couch Infront of me.

"Mhm make yourself cozy, I'm so glad your here. Want a cup of tea?" I really do not understand

"Guys, I am not a baby. You don't need to babysit me" I said and scoffed

"Well we will. So, do you want to go for a walk?" He asked and my attention was bring to him

"I can!?"

"Um yeah? I don't know. Let me ask" he said and I groaned

Why did he asked me if I want to go for a walk if he doesn't know if I can? AGH.

He came back in with smile on his face "I can!?" I asked sitting

"No" he still had that smile on his face and he sat down

"Bro."

"Dude."

I scoff and I don't think I will talk to him again.

And then I remembered. He's here. He can watch my back.

Oh my fucking God. I truly am an addict. Oh Well, too sad that I don't care that much at this point.

"Hey!" I called him but he didn't looked ner answered

"Lopez."

"Kai." This bringed his attention. I'll have that in mind.

"What?"

"Um could you watch my back?" I asked and he had that confused look

I sighed and showed him the line I made before he got in. Although the line...isn't line anymore beacuse he fucking scared me when he got in.