Finding me (Howl x Reader)

PART VI IMPRISONMENT

As I entered the palace I was immediately handcuffed and taken to my room. After some time, Madam Suliman came in. I couldn't wait to explain everything and get over with it.

"Madan Suliman, good morning" I said impatiently.

"Good morning to you too, Y/N". she said with a stone-cold face. "So, Y/N, tell me how's Howl doing?"

"Madam Suliman, please. I saw these posters in the market square. Why am I treated as some sort of a criminal?" I jumped straight to the point.

"You don't want to talk about Howl then." She said. "That's right, I see a change in your heart. Did he charm you as all of the other girls? Are you as silly as they are?" she started to sound intimidating.

"Madan Suliman, for all I care he can be dead. I couldn't use magic in his castle after he saved me from Witch of the Waste. I took my chance and I – I escaped to the palace."

"Why didn't you bring Howl with you?" Madam Suliman smiled mysteriously and somehow with evilness.

"As I said I couldn't use m-" I started explaining myself when Madam Suliman interrupted me.

"You couldn't use your magic in his castle, I know. How about market square? I hear you took your time to say your goodbyes to Howl."

I was desperate. That was true. I could've used my magic then, but I didn't. Why? What happened to my hatred towards Howl? Why did I feel sorry for him and now I am in trouble myself?

"That's what I thought" Madam Suliman said. "I shouldn't have let you anywhere near him. Your heart is too soft to be a great sorceress. Perhaps Howl was smart to give his heart to that demon. He wouldn't get himself in such situation." She said with disappointment and got up to leave.

"But what... what is going to happen to me now?" I asked as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"You will stay in this room for indefinite time, perhaps your whole life, helping us in preparing potions. You won't be able to get out the room even with your magic. I believe that will teach you a lesson." She said and closed the door abruptly.

I couldn't stop crying. I lied in my bed refusing to believe this is what I came to after 10 years of immense work I put into learning magic on top of graduating from high school and trying to live a regular life back home at least from time to time. I cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up it was already dark. I lied there for a minute absolutely empty minded. As if I was no longer alive. The first thing that came to my mind and snapped me back to reality was that Howl was right. He is not that bad after all. And he must've seen that Madam Suliman was in fact evil, so he run away. I thought about it as I curled in bed and smelled a distinct scent of Hyacinth. I realized it was coming from a dressing gown... Howl's dressing gown. "That definitely didn't look right, I came back to the palace wearing Howl's shirt and his dressing gown" I thought. I didn't regret it though; it gave me some sort of comfort.

I lit up my candles and saw dinner on my table. "How thoughtful of you" I yelled sarcastically. At first, I wanted to refuse it. But then I realized I was in fact starving so I dug in. After I finished the dinner I sat there and stared through the window without a ny purpose. I knew I couldn't escape the palace. So, I thought it would be the best if I accepted my fate. I decided to count how many days I've spent isolated in my room. Just like in these films I saw back home. I Didn't think I'd be the one doing it. Perhaps my mum was right not wanting me to become a sorceress.