Don't run from me (Book 3)

Chapter 32: Angel-like voice

"Your kids are weird."

"They take after you, my dearest brother." We heard the bell ring and Helena got on her feet shooting me a look "I'll get it."

I wanted it to be Katrina, but I didn't want Helena to be mean to her. She was there for me when I needed her the most and she never left my side... if I could offer her the world I would. God knows I would do anything to make her happy.

A few minutes later I was disappointed to see Elsa come in with a bunch of papers in her arms. I didn't go back to work but I still worked a bit on the phone and communicated with clients through Elsa. She dropped the folders in front of me and gave me a pen, wanting me to sign them. With a sigh, I started reading them one by one and signing them off while she sat by the tree with the kids and started playing with them. She was in a way trying to know what they would like for Christmas to facilitate her task.

It wasn't long after Elsa's departure that we heard the bell again. And this time, I was certain it was Kat. I beat Helena to the door and opened it widely forgetting about the snowstorm. I was hit with a wave of icy wind and shivered a little. But it didn't matter, my heart warmed up the second I laid eyes on Katrina.

"Are you going to let me in or let me freeze to death out here?"

"Oh I'm sorry," I let her in and helped her out of her coat the best I could with just one functioning arm. "Come on, let's get you warmed up."

"I wasn't going to come due to the snow, it's crazy out there."

"Then why did you?" Helena leaned on the door frame with a raised eyebrow.

"Helena," I warned her with a glare. I didn't want her to upset Katrina. When I glanced at Katrina I noticed she was smiling and wasn't upset at all.

"I came because I missed your brother, and I promised your mom I'll be here today."

"You're here every day anyway."

"I am Helena, and I will be here as long as Mason wishes me to be. Now, if you'll excuse me?"

She walked past my sister and went inside the living room. I heard my mom greet her happily and the kids seemed very excited to see her.

I glare at Helena letting out a sigh "Why? I mean, why did you have to do that? Didn't we just agree that you'll stop being a bitch?"

"I just can't Mason! She hurt you!"

"Whatever." I went into the living room and found Katrina decorating the tree with the kids. They were adding the final touches and it intrigued me how she convinced them to let her work with them. I sat on the couch and watched them for a while before closing my eyes and blocking every sound out of my ears and mind except one. Her laugh. It was melody to my ears and I relaxed just listening to it.

I couldn't hear it anymore and my eyes flew open. I met her gaze and knew I was smitten. She blushed quickly looking away.

"Alright, kids! You had your fun, now say goodbye to everyone, and let's go home before the storm grows heavier." Helena took her purse and leaned down to peck mom's cheek and waved at both Katrina and me before she headed to the foyer where their coats were. The kids whined not wanting to go but did as instructed knowing the outcome if they didn't. Sometimes I found Helena too hard on them, but sometimes I saw how well she was bringing them up.

"I'll leave you two and go make dinner. Is chicken Teryaki okay Katrina?"

"Oh, no, I'm not staying for dinner, I'll leave in a bit as well. Thank you, Elise."

"Nonsense! You're staying and that's final." My mom smiled triumphantly when Katrina nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.

I patted the couch next to me "Come sit next to me Kitty,"

She sat down leaving space between us, but since I couldn't pull her to me with my right arm, I moved to her side and rested my head on her shoulder. We sat in silence, watching the crackling fire and listening to the wind from outside. I felt at peace, I felt happy, and most importantly I felt at home. At that moment, I knew that no matter what happened in the past, I wouldn't let it take away my fondness for her.

"Hey, Mason, tell me. What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?" She asked with a smile.

I looked at her with a frown "Is that supposed to be a joke or something?" I chuckled "I don't know, What?"

"Same middle name!"

My frown disappeared as I stared into her eyes while having a flashback. That was a joke I said to her when I was drunk... I reached for her hand as I kept having images of her flashing through my eyes. We spent a lot of time together, we worked together, we kissed, we went to central park, we went to the farmers market, and we... I closed my eyes for a second trying to push the pain I was feeling in my chest.

"Mason? Are you okay? You're breathing hard... Mason, relax, look at me... please."

Her voice was distant, I was panting and my blood was pounding in my ears. I could feel my heart thudding in my chest as my hands started shaking. I opened my eyes as Katrina instructed but my vision was distorted. I couldn't make out anything around me except Katrina's blurred figure.

She cupped my face and urged me to calm down using her soothing and soft voice. I knew too well what was happening. I was having a panic attack, and it felt alien to me as I hadn't had any in so long. Katrina must have known what was happening, as she gently pulled me to her and drew soothing circles on my back trying to calm me down.

I closed my eyes again focusing on my breathing and her angel-like voice. She was doing wonders with her hands on my back.

"Can you look at me now Mason?"

I straightened myself slowly and looked up at her, seeing tears in her eyes. I reached with my left hand and wiped them away.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Thanks to you, I am. Thank you... How... How did you know what to do?"

She bit the inside of her cheek and shrugged as if it wasn't important but I urged her to speak wanting to know more about her.

"The first time it happened to me I was in school being bullied by the one and only Gregory. It was terrifying Mason. I didn't understand what was happening to me and I suddenly felt scared, helpless, and alone. Then, it started happening more often, and it would take me forever to calm down. There was one time, Noah found me in the garage all huddled up on myself having difficulty breathing. He told my parents and they took me to a psychologist. Turned out I have anxiety and obsessive self-doubt and judging."

"I didn't know, I'm sorry... so that's how you knew what to do."

"Yes, I've had too many panic attacks that I know how you felt, and I just did what Noah used to do to calm me."

"You're lucky you had Noah. I started having them after Celine. And no one knew about my attacks so I really was alone."

"But what happened now? What did my joke trigger? You were just fine and then got lost in my eyes and then just started hyperventilating. What happened?"

"I remembered you. I remembered the pain."