From Heart With Hate

Golden Love

Today when I went to Lee's clinic for the appointment, all I could see was blood running down his neck and splashing over my face. The voices kept telling me to break the vase right on his head. Even though I was distracted, I tried to shut them down and tried to talk to him. I can't live like this forever. Craving murder and the feeling of warm blood on my hands. Lee says I might have developed an alter ego. He was so confused when I began to laugh. I didn't mean to, but I don't think I have an "alter ego". He was too much... Isn't it?

Right now, Niccolò was in the shower when I sneaked into his room. I hear the battery running and him humming a song from the 80s. I don't know what song it is, but I have noticed him playing it on car rides.

I am here because I need those pills back; I haven't been able to sleep for two days. I feel like I'm dying. Something inside of me is dying. I don't know, but it feels lighter. My body doesn't feel like I usually do. Yesterday I searched everywhere, every cabinet of Niccolò's office. Even
tried to intimidate the maids privately, but they, too, had no idea.

So here I am, inside Niccolò's room in the middle of the night, trying to find the keys to his closet. Very foolish of him to assume I won't be able to find them. One time, I was drunk with Niccolò and saw him putting his keys under the carpet.

A smile crept over my face as I twisted the cloth and finally got hold of the metallic thing.

You are not that useless.

I ignore it.

I could hear Niccolò
turning the shower slower; he was about to get out in a few minutes.

He'll catch you and probably beat the shit out of you.

Ignore.

The third key was the one which opened the closet. It was filled with black and blue shirts and a few plain white shirts.
Where the fuck are my pills?

I checked the pockets of his blazers and pants. No luck!

Locker, check the safe.

I quickly turned around to the locker and inserted the key. Finally.

I quickly kept it inside my bra. No one can find it now.

Keep it in your panties.

Why?

You are so flat he'll know you've stuffed something inside.

Fair but rude.

I narrowed my eyes as I placed them inside my undies. I was about to close the locker when I noticed a photograph.

He is almost done.

I ignored the voice again, my mind still intrigued by the photo.

Quick

I nod to myself. I will make it short.
I flipped the picture; it was a boy who must be in his early teens, and a little girl with light freckles and chestnut bangs almost covering her eyes. It was a selfie taken from a polaroid camera. My eyes widened when the realisation struck me. Is that...?

Niccolò

"I can't believe you sneaked in here to get it back, Caterina."

She didn't flinch or turn around. Like she didn't hear me.

"Come on, give it back, don't make me snatch it from you." I pulled her back and turned her around by her shoulders.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes.