Vanilla, Cherries, and Cigarettes

Chapter 9

((The POV is switched for this chapter. Louis' POV takes place in 2017 and Harry's takes place in 2021.))

Louis - 2017

Harry doesn't love him anymore. Harry has given up. This was what was going through Louis' mind as Harry left for Liam's. This is it.

Louis stood in the same spot for an unknown amount of time after Harry left. It was out of pure exhaustion when he finally moved, collapsing on the couch and passing out.

He woke to a simple message that was only confirming his thoughts:

[Hazza <3]

"I'm gonna stay at Li's for the day. I need a little more time before I come home."

Louis groaned and put his phone down. Why was Harry bothering with coming home at all? He should stay with Liam. He'd be happier. To Louis, it was only becoming clearer that Harry had given up, that Harry didn't love him anymore. He was tired of Louis, tired of looking after him. He didn't want Louis around anymore. Louis was being a burden at this point.

He didn't move, only eating a microwave meal around dinner time. He'd taken to smoking an entire pack the next day when Harry didn't come home again. That night, when he received another text saying Harry was staying at Liam's again, he recalled an interview.

"Love You Goodbye! Do you think it's better to say goodbye when you're just not feeling it's right? Or do you- would you rather wait and say I'm just gonna give it my all and see what happens?" The interviewer asked.

"I think it's better to- if something's not right, it's probably best to say goodbye," Harry answered almost immediately, Louis' ears perking, anxiety churning in his stomach.

"Yeah." Liam agreed. "That's probably for the best."

"No point dragging it out." Niall inputted.

"Well sometimes you just don't do it if you're scared or whatever," The interviewer argued. Harry nodded along leading into a response.

"Sometimes if you're trying to protect, uh... I don't know." Harry gave up with a shrug.

Louis understood though, knew exactly what Harry meant; if you're trying to protect someone's feelings.

That was the most Harry thing to do; put someone else's feelings above his own. Maybe that's what was happening now. Harry was ready to walk away, he was ready to let go. But he didn't want to because he was afraid to hurt Louis.

This only made the tears fall harder. Louis realized that Harry was right. The first answer, that is.

"If something's not right, it's probably best to say goodbye."

Louis knew what he needed to do. It was that night that he packed. He wandered the house, grabbing only the bare minimum of the things he needed. He filled his luggage with his clothes, leaving behind what he couldn't stuff in. He didn't want to leave Harry without saying goodbye, though. So he went to stuff the suitcase into the closet. As he was doing so, he spotted Harry's brown jumper. Biting his lip, he reached forward and thumbed the material lightly. He glanced around as if to check if anyone was watching, even though no one was home, and quickly stuffed it into his bag.