Vanilla, Cherries, and Cigarettes

Chapter 5

Louis - 2021 - pt. 5

"So, uh, where... how do we start?" Harry said, breaking the silence.

"From the beginning I guess..." Louis shrugged, reaching forward and taking another sip of his tea. "It was shaky from the start. Not that I didn't love you from the start but we definitely had it hard. Or rather, you had a hard-on." He smiled a bit.

"Hey!" Harry protested.

"Sorry, sorry. All jokes aside, we both know it wasn't easy."

"Yeah but I don't feel like that was our fault in the beginning. It was Modest!." He defended.

"But it was my fault. I wasn't always saying what was on my mind. Like even before we got together."

"What do you mean?" Harry's brows furrowed, he was confused. Which he should be because he doesn't know the full story.

"Well, I liked you from the start, Harry. I know that we talked about it and I told you that I started liking you after the first few weeks in the X-Factor house but it wasn't true. It was almost immediately that I liked you. I even put a little heart next to your name in my phone."

"Seriously? I always wondered what you had added after I put my number in. I freaked out about it. Thought that you maybe wrote a little stupid reminder because I wasn't memorable." Harry giggled a bit.

"No way, Haz. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was obsessed with you during bootcamp, and I was even going to tell you while we were at Simon's house but I backed down."

"When were you going to tell me?" Harry smiled eagerly.

"The first day actually. After you got a boner on the beach, I talked to Niall. I told him that I noticed it and I thought it was because of me, since you were very obviously staring, and then I admitted to him that I really liked you. He told me to talk to you about it and I planned on it. I went back to the house with Zayn and I was going to tell you how I felt while he was in the shower. But then..." Louis trailed off, remembering the very uncomfortable conversation.

"Then I said it was because of a girl." Harry connected the pieces, groaning in regret.

"Exactly, so I chickened out on telling you. I wish I hadn't." Louis finished and took a long sip of his tea, not meeting Harry's eyes just yet.

"Huh. I guess that explains a little bit of your behavior that week." Harry mumbled.

"What? What do you mean?" Louis perked up, confused by the statement.

"Well, for starters, you practically pulling my shirt off at the beach." He laughed a little.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Louis glanced away, playing dumb.

"And insisting that we swap shirts."

"Hey, that was so you wouldn't play with your sleeves!"

"You rolled them up anyway!" Harry laughed, making Louis chuckle too.

"I just wanted a part of you," Louis said quietly, honestly. Harry didn't say anything to that.

"For the record, the boner was because of you, not some girl." He offered a moment later.

"Thanks, I guess?" Louis laughed awkwardly.

"No problem," Harry chuckled and finally drank his tea. Pulling the cup away from his face, he continued, "What do you mean you weren't always saying what was on your mind? What else was there?"