Vanilla, Cherries, and Cigarettes

Chapter 1

Louis - 2021 - pt. 1

"Deep breaths, Louis. It's fine." Louis took a shaky breath as he moved cigarette to mouth, talking to himself. "It'll be alright." He lit the cigarette and breathed in, feeling just a little relaxed already.

Louis was having a bit of a panic attack. Nothing major. It happens from time to time. Mostly when he has bad dreams or thinks about the past. Sometimes when he thinks about the future.

He snuffed out the cigarette before he got even halfway through, and scoffed to himself, thinking about how he really needed to stop already, knowing that it'll never happen.

Louis walked back inside from the balcony and headed to his bedroom. He pulled out a light brown, knitted, oversized jumper. He slid it over his head. It was big on him. Because it wasn't his. But it was comforting. It smells of vanilla and cherries- and cigarettes but that's Louis' fault. He tends to wear it when he has panic attacks, which means it often comes out to the balcony with him when he smokes during said panic attacks. Sometimes it helps to calm him but sometimes it makes it worse.

Louis took another deep, shaky breath and slid down against the wall. He pulled his knees close to his chest and tried to steady his breathing. He tugged the sleeves further past his hands, letting the jumper hang loose and completely swallow his arms in the soft brown material. He gripped tightly to the inside of the sleeves. And breathed. In... and out... Just like he had read online. Repeat deep breaths.

After a little while, Louis had managed to bring his breathing to a normal, mindless pace.

Calmer now, he thought about what had triggered the attack, knowing the importance of pinpointing the problem... it was the article he had seen on his phone. Curious but wary, he pulled his phone out, stretching his arms out in front of him so his hands could emerge from the jumper. Louis knows he shouldn't go back to what triggered the panic attack but the headline was startling and he needed to finish reading the article.

"Former Band Member, Niall Horan, Accidentally Confirms Rumors Of A 'One Direction' Reunion"

So, Louis took a deep breath before scrolling down.

What did Niall do this time?

He clicked the video under the headline and watched as it expanded on his screen. Niall's face popped up on a screen recording of an Instagram Live.

Of course, it was. Louis sighed and shook his head as he hit the play button.

"Uh, 'one direction reunion soon?' How'd you know? They announced it already?" Niall furrowed his eyebrows confusedly after reading out a message in the live chat.

Oh god, Niall. He looked confused for about five seconds before looking at the excitedly freaking-out chat and making a face that filled with worry.

"You didn't know! Shit!" A message appeared saying "live video ended." And the video ended.

Shit, Niall.

Louis is pissed. He didn't even know. He wonders why Niall would say that. If something really was happening with the band, no one had bothered to tell him. He took a deep breath, noticing that his breathing was becoming erratic again. Louis made a split decision and went out to the balcony again. He found a new cigarette and lit it quickly, struggling from the shaking he was experiencing. He smoked through it quickly, trying to calm the shakiness and his nerves as he stared out from the balcony, pushing familiar memories deeper.

After finishing the cigarette, Louis mustered up enough courage, or just rid of enough anxiety, to call Niall. The phone rang twice before the Irish prince himself picked up.