Without The Grace

"What are you doing in here?!"

It was hard to get back in conversation with Ezekiel. Being together was awkward after our almost kiss.

I was scared to be close to him because I feared he might try again.

Or that I might try.
I was hoping that I was only feeling strange and slightly attracted to Ezekiel because I hadn't been able to mourn Kenneth and I was hurting.

We stopped some time later to sleep. The tent was assembled in silence and I muttered a good night before crawling inside.

I was so exhausted I was asleep in no time.

I dreamed of Kenneth. I dreamed about when we first got together, I dreamed of our cliff dinner date, and the amazing motorcycle rides. It was fine until Blu appeared.

She was sneering in my face saying that Kenneth liked her better.

When I retorted she slapped me in the face.

I woke with a start and immediately knew that something wasn't right. The tent was too small and there was a noise outside.

It was raining. But that didn't explain why I felt so unusually warm.

I slowly turned my head unable to believe what I was seeing.

Ezekiel was sprawled next to me underneath one of the two blankets he brought.

I jumped up. "Ezekiel!" I hissed.

He groaned and moved slightly opening his eyes.

"What? What time is it?" He mumbled.

I scoffed. "What are you doing in here?!"

Ezekiel sat up. "Are you stupid? It's raining outside. This tent may be small but its waterproof. What do you expect me to do? Sleep in the rain?"

I crossed my arms to show him that was exactly what I wanted him to do.

He rolled his eyes at me. "This is my tent so if you really have a problem with it, you can go sleep outside." He said before laying back down and turning his back to me.

I sighed and slowly laid back down. The tent seemed to be slowly closing in around us. My shoulder was touching his back and I could feel his steady breathing.

"Ezekiel?" I said into the darkness.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm so-" I didn't know why I was apologizing, he was technically the "bad guy," he was a murderer after all, but I hadn't treated his apology very nicely. Though it was...I had no idea what I was doing but I just felt like...whats done is done and I'd never be able to move on if I continued to dwell on what happened.

"Aaliyah?" he said probably wondering why I had suddenly gone mute.

"I'm sorry." I finally said.

He turned so that he was facing me.

"Why in the world are you apologizing to me?" he questioned, surprise evident on his face.

"I-I don't know...I just feel like I should." I responded.

He looked at me as if he were searching my face.

Once again we were extremely close. Closer than the last time.

"Good night." I quickly said before rolling over and trying to make myself fall asleep.

This proved impossible. I was totally aware of Ezekiel's body behind mine and the fact that if he reached his arms out even a few inches he would be wrapped around me.