Without The Grace

Packing and Decisions

"You don't really have to go." Alex told me for what was probably the dozenth time.

"Says everyone." I replied.

"Why?" he asked. "Why are you going?"

I ignored him and continued to pack my suitcase. Alex sighed and began helping me. He'd snuck into my house so much that he knew where everything was.

We'd packed to go camping and on hiking trips so he even knew how to pack my suitcases. We were best friends. Why couldn't we just be best friends? Why couldn't my life go back to normal?

"I'll be taking that." Kenneth said, snatching one of my bras from Alex.

"Its okay. Alex helps me pack all the time." I muttered, pushing down more clothes. I wasn't sure what I would even need. I didn't have much to begin with. I was mostly reorganizing my suitcase that had already been filled.

"What else does he help you do?" Kenneth asked sourly.

I rolled my eyes and moved on to my small dresser.

I froze. It didn't seem real until now. I was actually leaving. I couldn't believe I would never come back here.

I wasn't particularly sad about that part, I was just afraid of the life I would have in Solveig. The place I hadn't even believed existed. Never mind the fact that I could have ruled it.

"Alex." I heard Kenneth say. "Get out."

"What? No." Alex said scoffing.

"Come on Alex, just go." I said turning around.

"Yeah, you don't want to see any of this." Kenneth told him pulling me into a kiss.

Alex groaned and left slamming the door.

We kissed for a long time. My fingers ran through his hair and down his back and I shivered as he traced my spine with his fingertips.

"Stay with me." He murmured against my lips, ruining the moment.

I broke the kiss to look at him. There was so much sadness and longing in his eyes that I almost changed my mind.

But could I really leave my mother helpless in the hands of a tyrant? I could never live with myself if I did. I didn't know her. But I wanted to.

Kenneth traced my bottom lip with his thumb making me close my eyes, sighing in content.

"Aaliyah," His voice broke around my name. "I love you." He whispered.

"Say it again." I told him. "Like you mean it."

"I love you Aaliyah." He said stronger this time kissing me harshly before I could tell him I loved him back.

He poured all his emotions into the kiss as he deepened it biting my lip and massaging my tongue with his.

He kissed the tears I didn't know were falling, he kissed them from both cheeks. Then he kissed each of my eyes.

My nose.

My forehead.

My neck. And then back to my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed so tight I wouldn't be surprised if he woke up with dark bruises.

"Don't look at me like that." I told him.

"Like what?" He asked me pouting out his bottom lip.

I rolled my eyes. "I have to do this. I'll come back for you when it's safer. I'll try to convince them you're not a terrorist and they'll let you come." I didn't even know what I was saying.