Without The Grace

"I'm not the only bad guy."

"What's going on?" I asked Ezekiel the next morning.

When I had left the tent, I saw that he was all packed up ready to leave. His face looked worried.

"I've made a decision." He informed me.

I raised me eyebrows.

"Have a donut." Ezekiel said holding it a box of pastries.

I glared at him. "Your decision?" I inquired.

He sighed and laid the box back down.

"I'm not taking you back to Solveige." He finally confessed.

"What do you mean?! You killed my boyfriend and I am not going to let his death be a waste. So get your lazy self up and lets get a move on!" I exclaimed. "I'm going to take back what's rightfully mine."

"But I'm doing you a favor. Don't you see that I'm trying to make it up to you?" He pleaded.

"No. I don't. Plus, if you want to make it up to me, you can take me back to my camp." I informed him.

His eyes widened in alarm. He shook his head frantically.

"No, no, no. I can't. If my father doesn't kill me first, your guard will. They won't give me a chance. I committed murder, kidnap, and now I've backed out of it. My father will be so ashamed he'll get rid o-"

"Don't worry about your father!" I interrupted. "We're getting rid of him remember?" I reminded him.

"Yeah but what about your soldiers? I can't-"

"Let me go alone." I suggested.

He contemplated this. "Will you smuggle me on the ship?" He questioned.

I didn't want to help him but if it was the only way he was gonna let me go, I'd do it.

"Fine." I relented.

"What will you tell everyone?" he asked me.

I slumped to the ground with my head in my hands. "I don't know." I mumbled. "Where are we?" I asked.

"Far from home." He muttered. "We'll have to walk back."

I looked up at him in horror. "How long?" I asked suspiciously.

He smiled sheepishly. "You were unconscious for two and a half days."

I groaned. "Where were you trying to go?!" I exclaimed. "And how did you carry me for so long?"

"I told you we would have to go the long way to get to Solveig unnoticed. I know someone who has a boat. And I...might have dragged you some of the way. You aren't that heavy." He shrugged.

I gave him a disgusted look then dropped my head onto my knees. I was already feeling tired and we hadn't even started walking yet.

"Why can't we drive again?" I inquired though I had never asked the question.

He snorted. "I'm probably the most wanted man in the world. I kidnapped the heir to a royal throne. I cannot be seen." He said.

"Great." I replied. "Why the change of heart anyways?" I asked then.

"I decided I didn't need to please my father...or make him proud of me. I should make myself proud of me." He shrugged. "Maybe you changed my heart." He said at the end.

I looked at him. He held my gaze unwavering.

"I'll take those donuts now." I said to change the subject. "And then we're leaving."

He saluted me grinning. "Yes sir."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Don't smile at me. We're not friends. Not even close. I hate your guts." I spat. And I meant it.

I took the box from him and stalked-crawled back into the tent.

Once I was finished devouring all of my sorrows in powder and glaze, I helped Ezekiel pack up the tent.

We worked in silence. He tried to talk to me but I didn't want to hear anything he had to say.

We started the walk through the woods. I was ashamed of myself. Disgusted. This man had killed my boyfriend and here I was being somewhat friendly with him.

I felt like I was betraying Kenneth. I thought back to his last words. I wasn't sure if I could ever move on. It didn't even seem possible. Tears pricked my eyes at the mere thought of it.

"Can we stop?" I asked thickly. We hadn't gone far but I felt like I was getting farther and farther away from Kenneth. Though we were going in that direction. Sort of.

"Why?" he asked setting his share down.

I ignored him and went to a nearby stump. I brushed it off and collapsed onto it burying my face in my hands.

"Just give me a minute." I muttered through my fingers.

After a moment I felt warmth as he wrapped his arms around me. A small part of me, the stupid part that wasn't thinking almost leaned into him. But the sane part took control and jumped up.

"What are you doing?!" I exclaimed.

He blushed. "I was...comforting you, or at least I was trying to...I..."

"You murdered my boyfriend! I shouldn't even be here! Being with you is like betraying Kenneth!" I shouted at Ezekiel.

He stood. "I was doing my job! You're like shooting the messenger! I was told to kill everyone but you!" Ezekiel yelled. "I could have killed your other friend but I didn't. Did I?"

"You might as well have." I said. "I feel dead now." I said slumping back onto the stump.

"I don't know what else I'm supposed to say or do to make it up to you. I wish I could go back and undo what I did. Probably more than you do."

"Yeah right." I muttered but he continued.

"You're not the one that actually killed him. I did. I have to live with it. I've never intentionally killed a person in my life. And what about you?" he said accusingly. "If you had known how to shoot a gun, you would have killed Blu. Blu has family too. Family that would have treated you just as you're treating me now." He pointed out. I couldn't help thinking he was right.

He stooped in front of me. "And I'm sorry to burst your bubble or whatever but I'm not the only bad guy."

"What do you mean?" I asked him suspiciously.

He took a deep breath. "Blu told me that one of the reasons she didn't feel bad for giving you away was because...well, and I quote. You stole her man." He finished.

I frowned. "What man?" I asked him. "The only man she liked was Mr. D, but-"

"It was Kenneth."

I laughed. "Yeah right. Kenneth and I were dating forever. She never even mentioned it."

He raised his eyebrows at me as if he knew something I didn't know.
My heart turned cold.

"He wouldn't cheat on me." I stated countering Ezekiel's thoughts.

He clucked. "That's not what I was told."

My face fell and I had a weird feeling in my stomach. "I can't believe..." I swallowed hard. "That doesn't change anything though." I concluded.

"Doesn't it?" Ezekiel said before standing up and picking up our things. "It's time to go." He stated before beginning to walk leaving me no choice but to follow.