Part forty-three

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"you think you can get rid of me? of us?" the question floated in the air unanswered

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"you think you can get rid of me? of us?" the question floated in the air unanswered.

i tried to turn and run away but where ever i looked they were there, my demons, my nightmares. there was no escape now.

they darkness surrounded me, mocking me, laughing at me while i tried to pull myself out, i couldn't let them win, not now.

"look at us Athena, look at the people you have killed with your own hands, you have our blood on your hands."

their eyes right in front of mine, i tried to close my eyes to block theirs but the emptiness in their eyes made it impossible to look away, dull and empty.

i did that to them, i killed them with my own hands. It was under my father order but it was me who took their life's and now, now they will haunt and taunt me until they had their mercy. i was their murder.

"please" what was i begging for? forgiveness?

they laughed at me, that's all i could hear even when my hands covered my ears it didn't help because now they were in my head, yelling and screaming at me.

"stop!" i screamed but they didn't, i was stuck with their lifeless bodies, eyes that once had life and light stared at me with nothing but emptiness.

i did that to them, i chanted to myself tears running down my cheeks.

"we are always watching you" one of them whispered, it was the little girl. "until death takes you to us"

i shook out of my nightmare, sitting up with deep and hard breaths.

another sleepless night, my nightmares seem to miss me because they visit me every night, if not my father then Joshua and if not him then the souls that i have taken out of this world, how could i?

it was either their lives or mine.

if i had showed weakness i would have been dead, if i showed empathy i would have been dead, if i had showed emotions..you guessed it i would have been fucking dead so i didn't, i shoved every sob and cry that wanted to crawl out of my throat down, i did what i was asked for because in a sick and twisted way i wanted my father to be proud of me, it didn't matter what i had to do i just wanted to hear him say 'good job, Athena i am so proud of you' but those words never left his lips, even when i served his orders, no love, no kindness, that's all i wanted from him, from the man that raised me but i knew better because he was never my father and i was never his daughter, he was my worst nightmare, a nightmare i will never escape.

i peeled the blanket off my sweaty body, my clothes clutched onto me like a second skin, "fuck" i sniffled and wiped my tears away before swinging my legs over the edge of the bed to stand up, i desperately needed a shower, my hair was sticky and messy and my skin was sweaty.

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