JJ Maybank Imagines

Go (Part 1) 💔🧡

Plot: y/n wants JJ to love her, even if its for the worse

word count: 1494

warning(s): very angsty, unedited work

"y/n I'm sick of this! We're constantly arguing and arguing, it's like we never even get a chance to take a break from it!" JJ threw his arms in the air as she scoffed.

"Do you think I wanna be constantly screaming at you JJ? But you leave me no choice, you're always pissing me off!" She argued back as he rubbed his forehead.

"You know what? I-I can't. I'm gonna go take a breather. Don't wait up for me" JJ sighed as she rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever. You always do this, you can't find an answer and you just walk out the door!" She screamed after him as the door slammed shut.

The brunette slid down the walls of the house as she felt tears slowly making its way down her cheeks. But they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of anger and annoyance. When JJ and y/n first got together, they were both loving their young relationship. But 5 years later, she thinks that they're just being toxic to each other, constantly fighting with each other. But what can she say, she loves that boy to the moon and back, always have and always will.

When JJ returned back to the house from a little walk along the beach, he saw y/n asleep on the couch as he sighed. He felt guilty that he had probably caused this to happen. "Babe?" He whispered into her ears as he knelt down on the floor beside her. She stirred in her sleep as her eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Hey, I'm back. I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I know that we've been fighting a lot more recently, and I just feel that I've been so toxic to you... you can go sleep in the room tonight. I'll sleep by the couch" He spoke as y/n slowly got up.

Little did he know, y/n had heard the heartbreak in his voice and she knew that he didn't want all of this to be happening. She was sure that he was as upset as she was.

"It's fine J, come on. Sit down, I wanna have that talk" She patted the seat next to her as he sat down as they both stared into space, with an uncomfortable silence in between them.

"Where do you think we went wrong?" She started as she took JJ by surprise. "What?" He frowned as she finally managed to look him in the eyes.

"What? You don't think we have an issue? We're constantly screaming at each other JJ, stop lying to yourself" She scoffed as he sighed.

"Do you love me?" She blurted out of nowhere as the blonde looked up at the girl again. This time in silence.

"Well, that explains a lot" She takes a deep breath as a single tear begins running down her face as she quickly wipes it away.

"That's not what-" JJ tried to argue but she cut him off. "Then what did you mean?" Silence again. He's always finding a way to lighten the damage, but there's no way. The damage has been done.

"I guess I'll go now..." JJ whispers as he stands up, but she grabs his hand.

"No wait, one last night" She practically begs as he shakes his head. "No I can't keep doing this to you y/n. You deserve someone who would genuinely give you happiness" JJ slips his hand away from hers.

"No JJ please! I can't be alone right now" She started bawling her eyes out. JJ knew he had to be selfish and go, he knew that he didn't deserve her, but he loved her. He will always love her, no matter what. And he couldn't bear to see her crying over him. It felt like his heart was ripping into shreds, and he couldn't take the pain any longer. So, he turned back around to the girl in front of him.

"One last night it is..." He whispered as y/n sighed, not in relief but somehow she was relieved that he was staying, although she knew that he had to leave in a few hours time. "Come on, let's get you to bed" JJ forced a faint smile as y/n followed him into the room, knowing that it was probably the last time that would ever happen.

Usually she'd beg him not to leave, but she knew it was for the better for the both of them. She climbed onto the wooden bed as she felt his presence beside her as she felt the bed sink in beside her.

"I love you JJ" She whispered to the blonde boy as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Sleep well y/n" He replied as she tried to close her eyes, but she couldn't help but felt hot tears pricking at her eyes. She knew all too well that this was the last few hours she'd be spending with JJ before they went their separate ways.

"JJ?" The girl croaked as he turned to her. "Hm?" He asked as she sniffled. "Do you ever, y'know, regret us?" She asked as he took a deep breath. "Honestly, no. I probably will never regret us or forget about us. You have been the sole person keeping me alive, and you're the person that's always taking care of me, and I'm always looking forward to seeing you everyday. I'm sorry if I disappointed you, but what can I say? If we're not perfect for each other now, then it's not perfect. Love can't be forced" JJ shrugged as y/n nodded.

This was the first time she heard JJ speak like this. He was usually really stupid and reckless, but when it came to us he was really wise. "I know J, I know" y/n gulped as she slowly forced her eyes close, just wanting to shut out all the thoughts about the disaster happening in her life.

In the middle of the night, my eyes slowly fluttered open as she turned to where JJ was laying, but instead met with an empty bed and messy sheets. That was when she realised that JJ was gone, possibly for good.

Y/n felt fast tears race down her cheeks as she wiped them away, but it was practically impossible. She thought back about how her and JJ even got to this stage, if she had told him they'd be like this years ago he would say it's impossible. But is it really?

Somewhere in the midst of having a whole crying session, she found JJ's note on the nightstand. She immediately knew without a doubt it was his handwriting.

Dear y/n,

I hope you've slept well. I'm sorry I couldn't be here to be your first view today, like how I always did. But that doesn't matter. I don't want it to. I hope that me not being here does not affect how you go about your day, and I want other people to see that bright smile that you show when you're genuinely amused or happy, that bright smile showing your perfect teeth. And I want you to be able to finally find freedom, and your next true love. I may be your first love, but I think we both know that we're not meant for each other. Find someone who gives you the happiness that you deserve, and not put you in more and more arguments. I hope you finally get the stable life you've always wanted and move to Chicago, just like your dream. Now you're probably gonna ask me why I didn't say goodbye when I left. I couldn't. I simply can't face the fact that I have to break your heart just to say a couple of words, so I'm writing this instead. I can't bear to see you cry when I leave, and I know that I wouldn't be able to walk away from that. After all, sometimes love is meant to hurt, it can't be perfect all the time. Even though we can't be soulmates, we could always be best friends. Just know that I'll never forget you, and you'll always hold a special place in my heart. Wishing you all the best in your future, hopefully you end up in that college that you've always dreamed of going to. I love you, forever & always.

By then, y/n was sobbing like crazy. She felt like her heart was constantly being stabbed a million times. But deep down, she knew that she wouldn't forget JJ either. Love isn't a failure or tragedy, it is a gift. She would remember JJ because he showed her that she could love and be loved, and that love is both how she becomes a person, and why.