Recovery

Chapter Forty-One: Yuri ya

Even after the passing weekend, Y/n continued to feel the same loneliness. For the most part, the group had adjusted to Minju's absence, returning back to normal, but no matter how much he interacted with his friends, Y/n didn't feel satisfied. The distance between Y/n and Chaewon continued to grow despite being right next to each other, and Y/n's feeling of loneliness continued to deepen. Over the next few weeks, Y/n found himself no longer feeling the urges, only for them to be replaced by a different kind of intrusive thoughts.

Y/n rubbed his forehead, staring intently at his desk. The words of his teachers appeared as background noise drowned out by his thoughts.

Are these really my friends? I don't feel anything around them. I don't feel anything at all... Nothing...

Suddenly, Y/n recalled everything that led to this point. The multiple mistakes he made with Chaewon and the times he hurt Minju. The act of dating Minju without holding true feelings stood as a glaring problem, bringing him to one conclusion.

I'm a monster... I'm a horrible person. Do I even deserve to be around these people?

These self deprecating thoughts haunted Y/n. Almost instantly, Jimin picked up on this. Not wanting to waste any time, the boy raised his hand.

"Excuse me, Y/n's not feeling well. Can I escort him to the nurse's office?"

"Of course."

Jimin stood on his feet, gesturing with his head for Y/n to walk out of the classroom. Through his peripherals, the boy could see Chaewon staring on with concern.

Once outside, Jimin stopped his friend taking a deep breath before opening his mouth.

"What's going on man? Not only have you been acting off for weeks, but now you're even more off."

Y/n blinked, baffled by his best friend's accusations.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You've been distant. You think I wouldn't notice?

"Nothing-"

"Don't give me that. You and Chaewon stand next to each other but look like total strangers, every time you're not talking to the group you look like you don't even belong here, and to add onto that, you seem fine while interacting with us, but immediately after you exude contempt as if you weren't happy with your situation. Something happened and it's not flying under my radar. Tell me."

Y/n took a deep breath, "Can I tell you after school?"

Jimin narrowed his eyes, "My house."

"Okay."

"Go to the bathroom and wash your face. Give yourself time to wake up so you can come back to class ready to learn. I don't even know how much content you've missed because you've been absent."

Y/n nodded, walking in the opposite direction of his friend.

Does he really care that much?

Y/n entered the bathroom, turning the sink on before splashing a handful onto his face. In the mirror, Y/n saw himself, yet it didn't feel like he was looking at his reflection.

Get past this, Y/n. You're clearly not in the right headspace.

As he sat back in his seat, Chaewon tugged on Y/n's sleeve grabbing his attention.

"Are you feeling okay? You could have told me you weren't feeling well so you could stay home."

"I'm fine."

Chaewon's eyes told the boy that she didn't believe him one bit.

"Are you sure?'

Y/n nodded, "It was just a little nausea. I can push through this and take a nap at home or something."