Bound to Break

Chapter 37

Something hard had layered over Luciano's eyes.

"You're not ready." He spoke sternly and as if he was saying a statement, but I had an irrational fear that if I didn't do this, he'd never find me good enough for him.

I didn't even know why I wanted to be good enough. All I knew was that I got a sliver of his attention and I wanted more. I wanted Luciano to want me.

And who could blame me? I was stuck with the man forever. The least I could do was make the ride better. I continued pulling his belt. I thought he'd want this, but his hand tightened on my wrist.

"Nina." His voice was stern.

"You know you want this."

Something uneasy flittered through his eyes. He took my hand away from his belt and to my surprise, held it in his. My heart came to a halt.

"If you think I'm going to take advantage of you think again." His other hand slipped over my face. "I want you ready, because when we do fuck Nina, there'll be no going back after. It's a warning."

"But Luciano-"

He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, before pulling me over his lap. My chest glowed in response, I could have never imagined him to do anything remotely close to this.

But he did. His arms wrapped around me and he watched the news. I however remained in a trance, not being able to comprehend this side of Luciano. It was warmth, it was comfort, and I wanted more of it.

Stupidly, I had a thought I never believed I'd ever have - maybe this marriage wouldn't be so bad. He didn't seem to hate me, and to be honest I don't think I hated him either.

My finger ran over his bare arm. He had a few tattoos on his forearms. The biggest one was the blade, the rest were little designs, a word in Italian and the Italian flag.

I glanced at the pen on the table and without a thought I picked it up. "I'll fix that."

His eyes froze on me when I started to draw on his forearm. It was quite a random idea, but I decided to draw cherries. I was never bad at art, so the little doodle was neat. It was missing something - colour, but this pen was black so I just drew outlines and a connecting stem.

"You better not wash it off." I said to him and tossed the pen aside. A breath of amusement left his mouth, and he ran a palm over his jaw to wipe off his smile.

"I won't."

I placed my head on his chest, and though I never watched the news, I did it just this once. Because this peace was just too heavenly to give up.

It didn't last long. Because when I asked the next question it all came crumbling down. "Will you kill Elmo when you find him?"

His eyes flickered onto me. "Do you care if I do?"

I glanced at my ring. I was never a good enough person to save lives, but I had attachment issues. Once I met someone I liked, I wanted them in my life forever.

"Yes." I admitted. There was a sudden shift in his demeanour with my words.

"Why?"