Style // Sirius Black

Chapter XXXIV

"Sirius," Lyra whined in a docile tone, an aching smile tugging at her lips, "C'mon...."

"In a cold world, you are the one source of warmth that keeps me alive."

"You're so cheesy."

"I've been told."

Lyra let out a bark of a laugh and tugged herself from the grasp of the man, only to have him scoop her up in his arms. He carried her like a bride, earning a giggle mixed with a squeal as he carefully pulled open her bedroom door. Lyra rested her cheek on Sirius's shoulder, staring up at him with wide eyes. He had once described her eyes like a forest he could get lost in without a map, and she wondered if he still felt that way. Or perhaps there was another way he saw her, something less vague.

"Oh!" Lyra exclaimed, tapping Sirius's chest, "I forgot something in my room. You go down to the parlour; I'll be there in a minute."

Sirius nodded and rested a careful kiss on the top of her head, setting the blonde back onto her feet. She let out another round of laughter as he left a light tap to her rear as she hurried back towards her room, dropping to her knees in front of the chest of drawers. Tugging her wand from the waistband of her pants, Lyra muttered the unlocking charm and pulled the drawer open. Inside it sat various things Lyra kept hidden for her personal use. Most of it was just small tchotchke things she'd collected over the years, mainly things from James and her's adventures around the manor grounds in the summers.

However, on top of it all sat the letter from Regulus.

Lyra had avoided opening it for months, feeling like it was somehow going against Sirius in a way. After all, she and Regulus had a history, whether official or not. Lyra had whispered intimate words with no meaning to the boy in the depths of the night, assuring him what they had was more than act. Not a day goes by where Lyra doesn't feel the ache in her chest from the pain she caused. If she could go back and retract everything she said, Lyra would come in a heartbeat.

Regulus Black didn't deserve the pain she caused him. But it also didn't constitute the boy slightly selling her up the river to the Dark Lord. However, everyone reacts in different ways. It's what is done after that depicts the character of said person.

Tugging the envelope out of her drawer, Lyra sat back against the foot post of her bed. He had given it to her on her birthday, nearly four months ago. Everything inside of Lyra screamed for her to open it almost every day, wanting to know what the boy had to say. Perhaps it was him releasing all of his anger on her. Maybe an apology for the things he had done. There were many variables within Lyra's mind, creating fear in her. She almost regretted it when she tore open the seal, wondering if she should have just stayed ignorant.

But when she tugged the parchment out, there was no regret found. Reading the contents of it aloud, Lyra felt a bandage fit upon her heart.

"I have to let you go now, don't I? You're so happy with him and all I ever did was cause you pain and harm. I'll never be able to forgive myself for the words that I said to you or how I made you feel. I never understood the merit they held with you. I thought you hated me and that the things I said would roll off your back like nothing. Instead, they sliced through your shield and left you broken and wounded under my grip.

The first time I saw you when we were sorted back in first year, I swore to myself I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. I would do everything in my power to keep all harm away from you. Little did I know that I would be the one causing you the pain I swore to keep you from. Perhaps it was my own ignorance to what it meant to love someone, but I doubt that. I think I was simply, and still am, an ignorant child who wanted to protect himself from the anguish of rejection. I never intended to hurt you as I did, but alas, the words I used cut deeper than any forbidden curse ever could, leaving you in a state of hatred towards me. Something you and I share.