As Long As I Have You (A Zayn Malik Love Story)

I'm Broken: Part 1

Avianna's P.O.V

"What was that about?" Eli asked me sternly. I kind of had no words to say. I felt kind of lost in the moment with no words to way. Zayn and I both looked at each other dumbfounded.

"Uh..." Zayn said lowly looking at me. Technically, we did nothing. But, the fact that we know we are actually going out, and that the fans want us to go out, I could just imagine how Belina is feeling.

"What happened!?" He asked again. This time more seriously. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat, but it was impossible.

"She got upset," I say. "From the fans saying things." I told him.

He came over to the computer. "What were they saying?" I watched him as his eyes scanned what the fans were saying. I saw the anger in his eyes. There was so much tension in the room that it was almost tangible.

"Eli?" I said lowly. "You okay?"

"I just need to talk to Belina." He said angrily. Honestly, I wasn't that upset if he was mad at me, but I never like to see anyone mad. But why should he be mad at me? I did nothing!

"No," I spoke up. "I'll go. This crap does involve me, doesn't it?" He glared at me for a minute and nodded. I went towards the front door, looking at everyone's in shock faces before I left. Zayn gave me a look. A mixture of worry, and happiness? I couldn't quite put it together. I went outside of the flat and saw Belina standing there. I could hear the small whimpers that escaped her mouth. This couldn't have been easy for her at all. I went up to her slowly, not trying to startle her. I let out a little cough so I could grab her attention that way.

"I'm fine," she sniveled "Really I am." She tried to convince me.

"Then exactly why are you crying, then?" I asked turning her to face me. Her eyes were so droopy and lifeless. Belina was never a strong person, things got to her easily and she was extremely sensitive and insecure. Seeing her like this just made me feel worse and worse.

"Because," She sighed. "Seeing all those fans say they want you and Zayn together- how do you think that makes me feel?"

"Terrible," I said lowly. "Extremely terrible."

"Exactly. I love Zayn with all my heart and you know a lot of things get to me, and I just can't handle that. I've seen those things before and I tried to ignore it, but just now I couldn't." She whipped a tear from under her eye. "I think I'm just emotional too." A breathy laugh escaped her lips. I couldn't help but smile a tiny bit.

'I love Zayn with all my heart.'

The words seemed to echo in my head and that's going to haunt me forever. I was just beginning to get stronger at this, and seeing Belina like this is just breaking me down all over again.

I didn't want to tell her Zayn loved her too because its not 100% true. "Just ignore those dumb fans." I say. "They don't know what they're talking about."

She shook her head as a couple more tears hit her cheek. "That might be true, but the sad thing is that I might actually agree with them."

"What?" I asked confused and astonished.

"You two would look good together- you look better with Zayn then I do." Hearing that just took me by full surprise. Why would she think that? Did we really look that good together? I didn't want to believe it. But obviously I felt something else because I felt a small smile threatening to creep I my face and my cheeks threatening to burn red.

"Yea right," I say, rolling my eyes.

"You would." She exclaimed. She stopped most of her crying and calmed down a bit. But it still looked like she had more to say. She just wouldn't speak up.

"Is there something more you have to say?" I asked her. For a moment she hesitated. "You know you could tell me."

She took a deep shaky breath, and then let out an ever shakier one. "I'm not exactly sure yet."

"Sure of what?" I asked eager to hear more. I didn't like how she was hesitating with this so much. My heart began to beat in my chest and I got this sick feeling in my stomach. Something told me I wasn't going to like what I was going to hear.

"I'm not 100% sure, but I think I might be pregnant." She said lowly.

It's that moment when you feel your world come crashing down. It's that moment when you feel your heart between your teeth, and feel your stomach do a million flips. It's that moment when you feel dizzy with confusion and frustration. It's also that moment when you feel hurt. She can't be pregnant. What would that do to me and Zayn? Even is she is, I would not let Zayn break up with her to be with me. That's just not the right thing to do. Her pregnant? Really? I wanted to die right there, I wanted to go back in time and decline the offer to come here. If she is pregnant, that means I would have to let Zayn go, and everyone I love go. If she is pregnant, that meant Zayn must've been sleeping with her all this time, and he made it so clear that he was done with her.

Then, there's that moment when you feel jealous and betrayed. But, isn't that how Belina feels- is she would've found out about us? I guess I deserve this. Maybe this is a sign from God- a punishment? Zayn made a commitment to her and one to me. But he broke both either way. Then, there's that moment when you begin to feel a little mad. This all makes sense to me. Zayn is not the person to break someone's heart like that. Zayn couldn't do something like that to Belina, not treat her like she still means nothing to him. Zayn couldn't just try to forget her or leave her. No matter how many times Zayn tells himself he wants to leave Belina, he knows he can't. No matter what he says, I'm not letting him leave her. He wanted to leave her, but I know he can't exactly.

Belina looked at me studying my face. I couldn't even look at her. Rage, sadness, confusion, frustration, jealousy, and hurt all came over me at once. It was a feeling like no other. This couldn't be happening. I didn't allow my ears to believe it.

"Avi?" She asked lowly.

"But you can't be pregnant" I shouted louder than I expected to. Tears fought to stream down my face. "I mean-what about the shows?"

She shrugged "I just can't participate. Trust me, I'm not exactly excited about it either, but I'm not sure if I am. But I've had some symptoms....." She trailed off biting her nails.

I took a deep breath and tried to hold in my emotions. I know she isn't going to tell Zayn unless she is completely sure. And I won't say anything to Zayn. Not yet. Zayn has turned me into a totally different person. I was the quiet girl from New York that hated One Direction and wanted nothing to do with them. I just wanted to dance and go along with my own business. But look, i fell in love with one of them and became close friends with the other four. It all started to be too much. It's like when I was with Zayn, I was in a trance and had no idea who I was. Now, I'm back to somewhat the old Avianna. I just can't handle this. I can't stay here and I know I have to leave soon. In a day or two maybe. I have to breakup with Eli too. I'm losing everyone I love. I have to talk about this with someone I trust so I could get everything off my chest. Liam and Niall? Yea, I'll talk to them. Right now, everything I'm planning seems like the right things to do, even if it means leaving everyone behind and not getting the chance to be someone. And at this moment, I want to go home. I miss my family and I haven't talked to them in weeks because if this mess I've been caught up in. I just needed to be in the loud city I'm used to.

Belina and I went back inside. I tried to stay as distant as I could from everyone, but I stil tried to keep a little smile on my face. I couldn't help but look at Zayn and think:

I'm going to miss you so much.

PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE!!!!!

A/N: sorry it's a short chapter guise. I just wanted it to be based on this particular topic. I feel so bad for Avianna! :( I know exactly how I'm going to end this and I think it might even need a sequel!!! ;D!

Also guise i know it takes me a while to update but that's only because i barely get any comments or votes, also my last chapter only had 30- something reads!? I would just really like to see more reads comments and votes.

Sorry if it was getting boring but i PROMISE you that it gets better and better as it gets closer to the end. I wrote and finished all the remaining chapters of this book. So please guise hang in there and continue to read.