Now that the trial has been put to rest, Rueben believes that life is on an upward trend. It's not long before he understands he is sadly mistaken.
Around every corner lies a new demon lurking with the desire to rip the rug out from under him. He m...
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𝗦team from his shower rose around him like see – through clouds. He kept his eyes shut as the hot water descended from his head, down his face; he stood directly under the stream. His palms were pressed firmly to the black tiled wall in front of him.
Mason brought him home only thirty minutes ago, and then told him to leave. He was grateful that his brother wanted to take care of him, but all he needed was solidarity. He wanted to be alone.
Rueben peeled his eyes open; he blinked away the hot droplets that ran down his eyelashes as he looked at the drain. The water was still red. Red with the blood of the girl he loves.
He let out a loud, shaky breath as he pushed off the wall and stood upright. He faced away from the water as tears started rolling down his cheeks, mixing with the wetness that was already present. Ever since he stepped into this shower, all he could think about were those haunting last words she spoke to him.
I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
She loves me.
For a long time, he thought that hearing those words slip from her lips towards him would be the best thing he would ever hear. He thought her love for him would pardon him from all shit he's done. All of the bad. All of the good. The failure to save Lilliana – and Matteo as well. The blood that stained his hands since he took his first life at twelve.
But it didn't.
He wasn't saved by her words. He wasn't magically transformed into a person capable of being good. He wasn't anything new. He was the same.
And he hated those words.
Those stupid three words.
I love you.
Rueben grabbed onto the ends of his hair as he sank to the floor, resting on his knees. The pain that Rayne was suffering was on his shoulders. If only he hadn't dragged her into this world. If only he had been smart enough – strong enough – competent enough to save their siblings by himself.
Maybe then she would be okay.
Maybe then she would be happier.
He let out a sob as he placed his hands on the floor of the shower. He watched the red from his hands mix with the clarity of the water, tinting it pink.
I love you.
And he didn't deserve her.
He wasn't capable of loving her and protecting her.
He was weak.
Rueben closed his eyes for another long moment, taking his time to breathe evenly. When he was done, he climbed to his feet and grabbed the shower handle, shutting it off. The coldness of the room seeped into his being as he pushed open the glass door and stepped out. As he grabbed his towel, he knew that there was something he needed to do for her before letting her go.
