1987 [BoyxBoy]

Chapter 26 - I Don't Think I Can Say Goodbye

Billy's eyes were practically swollen. All he could think about was Bradley. The moments before, their last words to each other, the look on his face before he died. It burned itself to the front of Billy's brain. When he managed to switch thoughts, his brain brought him to Brenda, another person he lost. Dominic was responsible for the deaths of the two people he loved most. Billy was so happy that he was gone, but all he wanted was to be with them again.

The days started to blend together. He hadn't left his room in a week, Peter came and would stay with him sometimes, but the two would just sit in awful silence. There was nothing Billy wanted to say. He kept losing and the feeling was crushing him. He started to feel like it was all linked back to him. Brenda was his girlfriend, Bradley was his best friend, and now they're both gone. He felt cursed.

Sarah and Denise also made attempts to see Billy, but they were met with the same awful silence as Peter. Billy never thought he was going to speak or move out of bed again. Until 8 days after Bradley's death when his mom showed up.

She knocked on the door, and Billy's mom answered. She was dressed head to toe in black and her eyes were just as red and puffy as Billy's. Billy's mom immediately engulfed her in a hug. She hadn't seen her since the day at the police station when they were taking statements. Linda couldn't imagine losing Billy. She had never had more sympathy for someone.

"Jamie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Billy has been holed up—poor thing. I can only imagine how hard this has been on you."

"Thank you, Linda. I'm actually here because I was wondering if I could speak with Billy."

Linda looked confused. "You can maybe try. He hasn't spoken to anyone since we got home from the station. He's right up stairs."

Jamie nodded and made her way up the stairs. She knocked on Billy's door lightly, and made her way in. "William?"

Billy glanced over and for the first time in a week moved in himself straight up in his bed. He quickly wiped the tears off his swollen eyes.

"Hi, Ms. Edwards." His voice was groggy and fried.

"Hi. Your mom told me you haven't left your room in a week. That you haven't even spoken to anyone since you left the station."

"What's there to do? What's there to say? Nothing feels right anymore. I feel so guilty. He traded his life for mine. I didn't deserve it. It was his. I took it from him." Billy started to spiral. His eyes were welling and waterfalls began to spew again.

Ms. Edwards softly grabbed his face and tried to calm him. "Hey, you're okay. You didn't take it from him. He gave it to you. Bradley loved you. He loved you so much. Even when you guys weren't as close, he still talked about how much he missed you and wished that you guys would find your way back to each other. There is nothing that he wouldn't have done for you. He knew there was a chance that you wouldn't make it out of there alive, and he put his life on the line for you. He got to decide if you deserved it, and he did. He believed your life was worth saving."

Billy's only response these days was more tears. There was a glimmer of a smirk as he processed Mrs. Edwards' words. Billy always thought that Bradley was distancing himself from him, but maybe from Bradley's perspective it was the other way around.

"His life should be honored, don't you think?"

Billy nodded in response. He was still too choked up to form a proper sentence.

"I'm glad you agree. That's why I'm here. I came here because I need to ask a favor from you."

Billy's eyes were glossy and confused. "What is it?"