Where Secrets Lie (SOW #3)

27.

"Good morning."

I stopped on my tracks when I saw the person on my kitchen, clearly cooking something. Jeoniel is wearing an apron. He's wearing a black muscle tee, exposing his biceps and a varsity shorts.

Napalunok ako at umiwas ng tingin. Bakit naman umagang umaga ay ganito ang bubungad sa akin?

"Morning..." mahinang sabi ko bago naglakad palapit sa upuan. Kinuha ko ang nakapatong na pitsel doon saka ako nagsalin sa baso at uminom.

"Leisheen and Victorious called. Bibisita raw mamaya at isasama nila si Vanessa," aniya.

I smiled at the thought of seeing their daughter. I heard she's a very lovely and bubbly baby girl. She's a 7th month old child and I can't wait to see her.

I was watching him cooking when memories came flashing my mind. How he used to wake me up with kisses then he'll proceed to our kitchen and cook for our breakfast. Minsan pa'y bubuhatin ako kapag ayaw kong magising.

Reminiscing memories brought tears to my eyes. Nasaktong nalingunan ako ni Jeoniel at nahuling nagpupunas ng luha. I saw how he stopped.

"Lorrie..." He called and tried to walk to me when I put a hand to stop him.

"I'm fine. S-stay there..." sambit ko habang iniiwas ang tingin sa kaniya. I heard him cursed. He was about to take a step towards me when I stood up, clearly avoiding him.

"Hey, Lorrie. W-what's the matter?" I noticed how weak his voice were. Napasinghap ako at tumitig sa mga mata niya.

Damn myself for being emotional early in the morning.

"Wala. Pwede ba..." I gulped. "Pwede bang pagkatapos mo d'yan... umalis ka na?" I asked him while staring straight to his eyes. Dahil nakatitig ako sa mata niya, nakita ko kung paano gumuhit ang sakit doon. However, I ignored that and remained cold and serious in front of him.

"B-bakit ba pinapaalis mo ako?" Natigilan ako nang marinig ang boses niyang nagmistulang batang paiyak na. Nakayuko na rin siya at hindi nakaligtas sa akin ang pagtulo ng luha niyang dumiretso sa sahig.

Shit naman. Bakit masakit pa rin? Akala ko ba ayaw na?

"Bakit ka rin nandito?" Tanong ko pabalik.

He fisted his palms and I swear, I can see his hands shaking before he took a deep breath. Seeing him like that shatters my heart.

Pero, nung ako ba ang nasaktan ng higit pa d'yan, naapektuhan ba siya? Hindi. Paano siya maapektuhan kung wala naman siya?

"C-can you let me stay here? I promise, h-hindi kita kakausapin o h-hindi ako manggugulo. Just..." he paused and took a deep breath before lifting his head to look at me. I almost cursed when I saw tears on his cheeks.

"Just let me see you..."

I don't want this. Akala ko noon, mawawala ako nang hindi niya nalalaman. Magpapatuloy siya sa buhay niya kasama ang bagong mahal niya. Habang ako, mawawalang masaya dahil nakikita kong masaya siya.

Pero, hindi. Malayo sa inaasahan ko ang nangyayari ngayon. Jeoniel is here with me, crying after he knew about my tumor. Anong kaibahan nito sa ayaw kong mangyari? Ayaw ko siyang masaktan pero, ngayon nasa harapan ko siya at umiiyak ng ganito. Lumuluha siya dahil sa nangyayari imbis na maging masaya siya.

Hindi ko rin natupad ang kagustuhan kong maging masaya siya. Nasasaktan pa rin siya. Umiiyak pa rin siya.

"I don't care if you cheated. W-wala na akong pakealam kung niloko mo ako noon pero, pakiusap naman... hayaan m-mo akong makita ka. G-gusto kong alagaan ka, Lorrie. P-pagbigyan mo naman ako, oh..." he walked towards me. Hindi ko na nagawang makaatras nang lumuhod siya sa harapan ko. Napaawang ang labi ko at mabilis na hinawakan ang braso niya.

"J-jeon, tumayo ka!" I exclaimed but all he did was to encircle his arms on my waist then he buried his face in my stomach.

"T-tumayo ka d'yan," saad ko gamit ang matatag na boses kahit alam kong sa loob looban ko ay nadudurog na ako.

"Mahal kita... m-mahal na mahal pa rin kita, Lorrie Jane."

Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Para akong nabingi. 'Yung parang may bombang sumabog mismo sa harapan ko at hindi agad ako nakagalaw dahil sa gulat. Ganon ang pakiramdam.

I feel my heart beating fast. Hindi ko mahanap ang boses ko para tumugon sa sinabi niya.

He still loves me. Jeon still loves me.

"Okay lang kung h-hindi ka naniniwala. I have all time in the world to p-prove myself to you again," he said, noticing my silence. Marahil dahil sa panlalambot ng tuhod ko, napaluhod na rin ako sa harapan niya. He immediately caught me and worry flooded his eyes.

We stare at each other's eyes for I don't know how long. I hate to admit it but he can still bring butterflies to my stomach. I hate to admit that I still want him. I hate to admit that I still love him.

He slowly cupped my cheeks. The kind of stare he used to gave me... it's showing again. His eyes are showing how much he cares and loves me... again. It's showing again.

"Babe..." he called. I closed my eyes when I felt tears threatening to fall. Dalawang kamay na niya ang nasa pisngi ko bago ko naramdaman ang paghalik niya sa noo ko.

"Let me prove myself again, babe. I'm an asshole, jerk, moron or whatever you called it but I'll be better. I will prove myself again until you love me again. Will you let me?" He whispered while his lips are still on my forehead. I couldn't hold the tears anymore. Nahulog na iyon kaya napahikbi ako. He cursed and pulled me into his arms.

We both cry while kneeling on the floor. I let myself cry in front of him again. He let himself cry in front of me. We both let each other see our vulnerable states.

"I hate to break your crying moment pero... 'yung sinaing niyo sunog na!"

Pareho kaming napabitaw at ganon na lang ang gulat ko nang makita sina Leisheen at Victorious na buhat ang anak nila kasama si Yanah na ngumingisi habang nakatingin sa amin.

"Hoy, 'yung sinaing niyo!" Yanah exclaimed.

Jeoniel cursed and stood up. He immediately ran towards the stove and checked the rice he is cooking.

I hate to admit but... it made me smile.