Cookie Run x reader oneshots, headcanons and more!

Valentine Crime (Almond x Criminal!Reader)

yeah yeah for u dilf simps.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! AGUUU ALONE AS EVER SINCE IM IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

anyway, this one is a littleeeee late. sorry about that.. but anyway I hope u enjoy!

tw:

-dark themes

-mentions murder,kidnapping, and the death of a parent.

you are also a close age with him, but not old enough that you cant run. 

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You assumed yourself that this was the right thing. I mean you have never done this kinda crime before. It was always kidnapping and murder. You wanted a special gem. A necklace to be specific. Not to sell, but because it belonged to you. It was supposed to be your mother's heirloom before she was shot by a cop. It was the necklace she wore as she was shot straight in the head. The cop stole it. You remember as a young doe-eyed teen watching from a bush as the cop shot your mother heartlessly. All you remember is who it was. An old cop you still were hunting for. You still hate all police with a passion. (COOKIE POLICE!!! NOT REAL POLICE! FBI DONT COME FOR MY ASS!!)

 You needed your revenge, but first, you had to take

whats yours

You walked into the bank, messing more with your mask. You didn't want anyone to see who was about to cause some reallll trouble.

You sat down by a chair by the firealarm, placing your briefcase down on the floor next to you. You pulled out your CookiePhone and pretended to be waiting. And with that, you pulled the fire alarm, and the other cookies screams and ran out of the bank. You calmly walked over to the vault door and placed the briefcase down next to it. You walked a safe distance from it, covered your ears, and ..

KABOOOM!

Your ears rang for just a second before you rushed into the vault. The alarm was blaring loudly, making it difficult to focus. You scanned the vault looking for something special. 

You of COURSE grabbed the money, but you were looking for something else. 

"Aha! there it is!" You cheered. You grabbed the item and rushed out. You smiled and ran for the door and out onto the streets. No police had arrived and everyone was screaming in terror.

You walked into the dark alleyway to count up your earnings.

"600..700..800k crystals..

Thats just a slow Tuesday!" you huffed. You shrugged it off and looked at the other item you stole. You held the necklace up, the gem inside shimmering with the streetlight a few feet away. Her jelly was stained on the chain. It made you recall things you didn't want to.

You spaced out, picturing what you had had to deal with for ages in the back of your mind. You snapped back into reality and noticed a figure standing in the streetlight.

"Hey you!" He yelled. You knew who it was. You wanted to punch him, but you needn't get caught yet. You rushed down the alley with the briefcase in hand, hoping that it wasn't a dead end. 

"Stop! In the name of the law!"

You rolled your eyes and kept running. Left.. Right.. Left.. Left..

"Im right on their tail!" You heard him yell into his walkie-talkie.

You took a left and ran straight into a dead end, you were cornered. "Ive got you now!" you heard the man yell. You scanned your surroundings for a way out, and sure enough, a ladder led up to the roof of the apartment complex. "Not today old man!" You rushed up it, and he followed. You were at the top. 

You looked over the busy streets. Cookiecars drove back and forth. You scanned for a special car. Your getaway driver. 

"This is it." You heard him say.

You turned around and looked at him, you pulled your mask off your face, revealing your face to him. "Yep, the infamous (criminal name, well call it C/n)!!" Tears threatened your eyes as you recalled that traumatizing night. 

"This isn't it." You shook your head. 

"Thats what they all say. Anyway, you've got what...40 years on your hand if you plead guilty..nearly a life sentence if you plead not guilty. Its not looking great for you. And I was just on my coffee break.."

"No."

"You cant turn down the law"

"No." You started again.

"Look, you are pretty and all. Probably coulda made it as a famous cookie, but you waste your life like this. Crime always pays." He reached for his handcuffs.

You looked over your shoulder and down at the cars. You had your plan. 

"Oooooooo you think I'm prettyyyyy?" you teased. You saw his face and whole aura change as he realized what he said. "this is it!" you said to yourself. You had him caught off-guard. 

"WEll n-no. Thats not what that meant I meant-" His face looked a little red, which you thought was cute.

"Shhshsh, yeah we get it pretty boy, now if you'll excuse me..." You stepped up onto the brim of the building, waving goodbye to him. You put your mask back on.

"Ive got some unfinished business." You blew him a kiss, and leaned backwards off the building with a sly smile that was noticeable through the mask.

With a loud thump, you landed on a mattress in the back of a pickup truck, but the top of the front seat cabin was ripped off. 

"GO GO GO GO!!!" You got up and rushed to the seat next to your getaway driver.

"Bahaha! You shoulda see Almonds face!! Chili Peper!! My main girl! You saved me with that mattress!" You cheered and pumped your fist in the air.

"it still hurt a lot but at least all my crumbs are together," you muttered the last part.

"Ooh you two on a first-name basis?"

"Wh-Wha? No!" You huffed.

"I'm joking I'm joking! Sooo defensiveeeee! What bank you got?"

"Meh, 900k crystals. Not much but yknow"

"Thats amazing! Thats literally enough for like a MILLION cookie draws!!"

You held up the necklace and smiled, and Chili Paper smiled back, trying to keep her eyes on the road. You drove away, both of you laughing maniacally.

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A/n!

Idk how I feel about this one, but its something!! Requests are gonna be slower than normal. Ive got a lot on my plate rn (ahaha plate..get it bc..yknow..cookies..? okay ill leave)

ily