Heart of The Wraith

Ch. 19 - Quirkless

You spent a few days under Shigaraki's care, fitting right into the league and getting along with everyone - especially Toga who took a particular liking to you. You figured it was probably because she enjoyed having another girl around after Magne's death who she told you all about. The two of you were able to take comfort in your sorrows, often confiding in one another though pleasant giggles that Dabi'd roll his eyes at. 

You were also surprised to find how busy Shigaraki was. He was almost never at the base, but at least that time away allowed you to focus on your future. You spent your days busy as well, using Internet cafes to draft a resume and going on a few small interviews. 
You were actually able to score a job quite quickly, telling you that this decision was simply meant to be. You were meant to finally be normal...
Within the month, you had collected enough cash and then some to begin life anew - finding an apartment not so far off. The real burden was telling Shigaraki that you'd be leaving.

Twice and Toga had also went off to join the Hassaikai. You were at least able to offer a few pointers, explaining each of the bullets' quirks and personalities, and how to get on Chisaki's good side - not that they cared to do that anyway. But any information you had to offer was valuable.

"Shigaraki!" You called out, getting up off of the blankets you had called your home for the past month. He had finally arrived back after being out doing whatever it was the head of the League of Villains does. 

"Hey," he turned to greet you as you scampered over to him, the others in the room not giving any mind to his returning presence. 

"I wanted to talk to you," you smiled up at him, but then quickly fell back into a neutral expression as you realized how he may be hurt by what you were about to tell him, "about...moving."

"Moving?" He quickly furrowed his wrinkled brow, giving a concerned expression. "What d'you mean?"

"I signed a lease today," your voice was small as you avoided eye contact. "I'll be sleeping on the floor for a little while longer, but I finally found a place. Eventually I'll be able to furnish, but I figure I should get out of your hair."

"But I like you in my hair," he muttered, suddenly caressing the side of your face. You blushed to the light touch.

You hadn't thought any about what "decision" you'd make regarding the relationship you carried with him. You had been so worried about your own future, and rightfully so. As you had thought so many times before: there was a right decision to be made, but whether you had the strength to do so or not was unclear - especially with the way your blush increased the longer his touch lingered. Chisaki's touch could do the same thing, trapping you even further in the cursed triangle you found yourself in despite his suddenly unrequited feelings after dismissing you from the Hassaikai. 

"I need to move on," your voice was quiet. You found that to be your normal volume these days as you cautiously navigated around Shigaraki while under his care. "I need to be able to support myself. I just...really need some stability."

His hand dropped and you noticed how his Adam's apple bobbed intensely before looking away. "Got it," he nodded and flattened his chapped lips.

"I hope you can understand," you mumbled while looking up at him with your doe eyes. 

He was just about to speak up again when his cell phone began to ring. He kept his eyes trained on you as he pulled the device from his pocket and held it up to his ear.

"Himiko," he greeted and you could immediately hear your friend's shrill, excited voice from the other end. "Oh really?" He looked away with a devious grin. "How interesting...I'll bring the guys and we'll be there shortly."

"What's going on?" You asked with a smile, assuming something interesting was happening. 

"It sounds like things are starting to get interesting at the Hassaikai headquarters," Shigaraki turned to leave, your mind feeling stranded with that information.

"In...terest...ing?" You choked out, trying to think of what that could possibly mean. One thing was for sure: it didn't sound good based on Shigaraki's tone.

"Y/N," he stopped and turned around to look at you, "would you say you're not interesting in a relationship with me because of the violence I surround myself with? The crimes I've committed?"

"You...could say that," you confirmed. "Where are you going with that?"

"What does Chisaki have that I don't? Do you really think he's any better than I am?" It sounded as if he were asking a genuine question, but he clearly had something else in mind. "Why don't you come along, you can see just what kind of monster Chisaki is?"

"What's going on?" You asked again in a more serious tone. For him to say such a thing meant that Chisaki was in some type of danger. 

"It sounds like the heroes and some of their interns have caught wind of his little experiment and the guy he's kidnapped, and considering it's the Hassaikai they've sent in quite the army to apprehend them." Shigaraki's grin hurt just as much as the words that came from his mouth, but you knew you had to see Chisaki. Quirkless or not, you needed to help. 

You agreed to come. Of course, it wasn't to satisfy Shigaraki but to see if there was some way you could get involved and help - or even if it meant to see Chisaki one last time should he not prevail. 
You found yourself in the passenger seat of a truck, seated next to Spinner who was driving while  Compress, Dabi, and Shigaraki hung out in the back. The group was first going to check out the scene, but little did you know a plot for revenge had been sparking in Shigaraki's mind along the way. 

You chalked it up to the stress but a headache taking over your temples, pain behind the eyes, began taking over. It was hard to pay attention as Spinner focused on the streets in front of you, rubbing the sides of your head in circles to relieve the pressure.
When your head gave you a moment to relax, you peeped out the window to notice something large rising above the homes you were driving around. You squinted a bit harder to see what the large, meaty structure was and immediately gasped when you noticed what was perched at its center. 

A crazed looking Chisaki was firmly molded to the center of the grotesque, bird-shaped creature that took over a large chunk of the street. Spinner pulled the vehicle over to the side to allow for an ample view.

"That's interesting," he noted to himself as Shigaraki opened the window that let into the cab of the truck. 

"Well, Y/N," Shigaraki sighed as he poked his head through the center. You kept your glued to Chisaki's raging frame as he fought what appeared to be several heroes, one in particular standing out in a green uniform. "Does that look like a guy who wouldn't kill if he had to?"

"It's not funny," you muttered almost inaudibly as Shigaraki taunted you. 

"I think it is," he scoffed, paying no mind to his suddenly cold behavior. He retreated into the back of the truck as you continued to watch the violence unfold.

It appeared as though he had fused with some of the Bullets, his own mask attached to the flesh of his face. You felt a knot well up in your throat as you watched the man you once knew become a monster before your very eyes. 
You could see the look in his eyes as he struggled against the heroes biting at his ankles. He'd kill  if he had to. There was no denying it.

You sadly sighed and looked down at your lap, your eyelids drooping from the pain in your head. You felt completely defeated emotionally. All you had ever wanted was happiness and the small bits of it you found were in those who were against what you wanted to stand for, what you were against. 
Your quirk was getting in the way of your happiness without it even being present. Perhaps if you hadn't hurt those you loved you wouldn't get so worked up about murder. Perhaps you would have been able to turn away any sort of righteous morals in exchange for selfish desires, but, unfortunately, you were you.