Liquid Feels - Book 3 - DP Series - Complete

30. Stop Talking

I blink at Seth.

Us.

It's weird to hear the word from his lips, like he's actually thought about this a lot. He wants to talk about 'us'. What about it? We're nothing more than friends, right? Dropping my head back against the door, I peer over at Seth.

"What 'us'?" I question.

"Don't be like that," he warns, dropping his head as he rubs at his neck again. When he tilts his head up again there's a weariness in his eyes. "I've told you once already, but I'll say it again... it was never a competition because Cassandra never had a chance. If it came down to your friendship or her affection, it would always be you. Because, while I don't agree with the way you pushed yourself into my life, I've never been more grateful for a person's stubbornness. You've taught me what it means to go after the things that are important to me."

He pauses, eyes searching my face as if waiting for a response, but I don't dare. I don't want to read into anything he's saying. If he's got anything to say, he needs to spell it out for me because I don't want to get stung making assumptions.

"You're important to me, Mercy."

Seconds tick by silently before I speak.

"Have you..." I swallow. "Did I ever make you feel uncomfortable?"

"How so?" His head is cocked in genuine confusion, apparently never having considered such a thing.

"With the kisses." My fingers cling to each other, desperate for strength to say what needs to be said. "I'm so sorry. I honestly never even thought about the possibility that you didn't want it. The way you reacted... I mean, the first time, it won me the role. The second time, you kissed me back. It just sort of seemed like—"

"I wanted it?"

My eyes jump to his, startled by his question. I nod, brain muddled. "Why?"

He shakes his head, slow and thoughtful. "I don't know."

He's being honest, but I feel a flare of bright, hot fury ignite in my chest. After all this. I've spilled my guts to him, humiliated myself in order to be honest with him, and this is all I get in return. A hollow 'I don't know.' I want to scream, and with the level of noise going on downstairs, I probably could and no one would even know. No one except Seth. But screaming in rage would be a new low for me.

Instead, I find myself nodding, trying to accept his honesty as I stand up. "Okay."

"No," Again, there's a tinge of desperation in his tone as he jumps up and takes a step toward me. "Not like that... I was attracted to you—I am. I am attracted to you and I enjoyed being around you. But that second kiss, I don't think I knew I even wanted it until it happened. It surprised me." He pauses, looking at the floor before meeting my eyes again. "I haven't stopped thinking about it."

He's rambling and I know he rambles when he's nervous, but my body feels tired. I believe him, but I'm also weary from our conversations. Weary of all the circles.

"Seth," I sigh, dropping my attention to the floor. "Could you please stop with all this?"

He jolts backward as if I've just slapped him. "Stop what?"

"Talking," I whisper, throat tight. "I mean, you could be honest and just tell me how you feel..." I pause, waiting for him to jump in.

He runs his hands down his face, and the hesitation is all the answer I need.

"Actually, no." I wave my hands out in front of me as if trying to erase everything I just said. "You know what, I don't think I want to know how you feel. I think I'd prefer if you just stop talking... please."