34. Valentine Bummer

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It's Valentine's Day, and while it happens to fall on a Monday and life is hectic, I still find myself hopeful. This is the day for romance. The day when men find their courage and do the unthinkable. So maybe Seth will step out of his hood of friendship and risk asking me that one little question that could move us forward. It wouldn't even take any courage for him because I'm pretty sure he knows by now that I'd never turn him down.

Except that it was kind of my idea to avoid each other for a while as we figured things out.

That's beside the point though. What's really important right now is the fact that I've barely heard a peep from the man since he practically kissed my face off. And I get it. We both have very different, very busy schedules this semester. And working at the antique shop isn't helping with that. But, the bright side?... at least I'm busy. Gives my brain a lot less free time to wonder about him.

But I still wonder... during all the in-betweens, I wonder.

It's almost time for dinner before I make it back to my dorm. Once again my thoughts have drifted to Seth. Maybe he's waiting for me in my dorm room again or maybe I'll step through the threshold to find a sea of rose petals in the shape of a heart on my bed. Will there be a love letter hidden under my pillow? Maybe he's left a romantic voicemail instead.

I pull my phone from my pocket just to make sure he hasn't tried to reach me, but there's nothing. Even my cell phone is lonely this Valentine. Unlocking my door, I push it open to find the place empty with nothing out of order. It's the most depressing sound as I close the door behind me, the soft click getting sucked into the stillness. My ears hum, the sound of emptiness echoing around me.

Flopping down on my bed, I let myself sympathize with all the other people in the world who feel forsaken on this day. Especially those who are all too familiar with the feeling. I've been single on Valentine's before, but it was always by choice. It never bothered me. But it bothers me now because it feels like it doesn't have to be this way. I think Seth likes me, I really do. But I can't figure out why he hasn't bothered to make a move at all. It's always me being the bold one, taking the risk. I'm tired of feeling led on. Of course, I know that's not his intention. But really, how much time does he need to figure out his emotions? Either he wants something with me or he doesn't.

I must fall asleep still bundled in my winter coat and sweatpants because I wake up in the middle of the night sweating like a diabetic horse going through menopause. I fumble around the room, stripping off layers as I make my way to the bathroom. Splashing water on my face, I let myself stand against the cool tiled wall for several minutes while I cool down. With nothing but my bra and undies on, I shuffle back to my room and throw myself onto my bed.

It's not until the next morning that I realize what all I missed through the night. As the sun throws itself through my window, splattering patches of light around my room, I glance over to find Emma still snuggled deep beneath her covers. I have no idea when she got back last night, but I'm curious how she ended up spending her night. All I know is that she's been dealing with some drama concerning Trevor, so last night could have bettered or worsened things.

Shoving my hands under my covers, I search blindly for several minutes before finally finding my phone on the floor beside my bed. It must have fallen out sometime in the night. Grabbing it, I tap the button to wake it up and my eyes widen. Several texts and a missed call, some from Shonice, one from Jamison, and the rest from Seth.

I read over the messages, but find nothing very concerning in them. Basically, they're all wondering where I am and asking me to call Seth when I get a chance. Baffled, I check the time on my phone, relieved to find it's a reasonable hour to call him back, and then hit his name. It only rings twice before I hear the deep rumble of his tired voice on the other end.

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