Liquid Feels - Book 3 - DP Series - Complete

15. Carl

The sun is starting to set as we both gaze out across the water. Two more ducks float past us, ruffling their feathers and honking at each other. I watch them until they're on the other side of the lake and then peer sideways at Seth.

"Should we get going?" I ask, starting to feel the chill now that the sun isn't in its full glory.

Seth glances at me, nodding, but his brows are dipped in thought. "Yeah," he says slowly, "but first, I feel like we need to finish our conversation."

"There's more?" I balk, dropping my jaw in exaggeration.

Seth laughs, looking at the water again as he responds. "There's a lot more. And a lot that I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to share. But at this point, you know almost as much as my therapist."

I nod, absorbing this fact and wondering why he'd ever choose to reveal so much to me. And so, of course, I decide to vocalize my curiosity.

"Because," he responds casually, and then pauses.

I don't shy away from his sharp perusal of my face, but instead, rotate so I'm facing him rather than the water. He watches my movement for a moment and then drops his eyes away from me. A stunted smile lifts his lips, amazement woven into his expression when he turns to me again.

"You know," he begins, still grinning, "I don't really know. There's just something so honest and real about you. I hate revealing my history to people. Most of the time it feels like they just want in on my secrets. It's a chunk of juicy gossip that they can hang over other peoples' heads." He squints at his own words, apparently not happy with his description. "I don't think that made sense." He laughs, causing a small chuckle to pass through my lips.

"I just mean," he begins to clarify, "None of my friends would really tell anyone else about me—not the details anyway—but sometimes I think they enjoy knowing. Like they're proud of the fact."

I wrap the blanket tighter around me but remain quiet.

"You, though," he runs his thumb over his jaw and then rests his arm on his bent knee. "I don't feel like you're the type to pry just to satisfy your own curiosity. Somehow, it feels like you simply want to know because you want to know me."

The fact that he managed to read me so easily makes me uncomfortable. We've only really known each other for a few weeks; how could he possibly know my true intentions?

"Am I right?"

His question causes my muscles to constrict and I can do nothing other than nod, my shoulders lifting in a casual shrug.

"But," I start to say, "I'm also proud to be in on your secret." I see him flinch, the movement almost undetectable. I wonder how those words made him feel. Was it like an invisible slap to the face?

"But," I continue, pausing to make sure I have his full attention. I need him to hear me and to understand that the last thing I'd ever do to him is break his trust, "only because it makes me feel like you actually want me."

I almost add, 'as a friend,' but then stop myself. Friendship might be all I need from him, but my heart aches for more. Putting a label on us makes it feel like that's all we'll ever be and I need Seth to start considering the idea that more is a possibility. I'll survive either way, and I will never put him in a place where he has to choose romance over friendship, but I'm completely crazy about him, and if there's a chance... I just don't want to ruin a possibility, if one even exists.

"I do want you," he murmurs, and I feel hope tightening around my stomach as I soak in his words. "I love what we have. There are very few people I've come across who are as easy to talk to as you." He smiles at me, his hand reaching for mine and offering a gentle squeeze. "Thank you for listening."