Liquid Feels - Book 3 - DP Series - Complete

23. Not Strong Enough

I don't sleep. I just lay in bed replaying Seth's kiss over and over in my head until I become so miserable that I eventually get up. It's four in the morning when I exit my bedroom and quietly make my way downstairs. I expect to see the door to the study closed, Seth sleeping sounding inside, but it's not.

Making my way toward it, I peer around the corner prepared to find him huddled beneath his blankets. But he's gone; his pallet of blankets neatly folded and sitting on the edge of my dad's desk. Aside from that, there's no evidence he was ever here.

Hurrying to the bay window in the living room, I push aside the curtain and search for his truck. But the streetlight illuminates the empty street where his truck sat parked only a couple of hours prior. He bailed on me.

I knew he had to leave this morning, but I assumed it wasn't until much later. The fact that he didn't even bother with a goodbye stings a little and I drop down into the couch. Was it all a mistake?

For some reason, I didn't think so until now.

I spend the rest of the day with my family, but they can tell something's off. I try to get into the spirit of things—cookie decorating and a few card games—but I'm tired. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm also really dejected.

I end up letting my parents in on what's going on. My dad sits quietly, absorbing my words as if he was completely unaware of my feelings for Seth. My mom, on the other hand, listens intently, munching on a roll of Ginger Snaps and nodding along to every detail.

"Give him some time," is my dad's advice.

"Play hard to get," is my mom's.

My dad and I roll our eyes at her suggestion, but she just lifts her hands in defense. "What? It worked for me." She squeezes my dad's arm and gives him a sly wink.

By the end of the day, I've managed to emerge from my slump enough to enjoy the rest of my visit. By evening, I've convinced myself that I'll be completely fine. This will be an unfortunate phase in my life as I fight my own feelings, but I'll move past it.

Though I have no classes on Monday, I still have to return to campus to shoot a scene with Seth and his team. I'm dreading it because I know it'll be awkward. But, as I enter the campus auditory to begin filming, I'm pleasantly surprised when Seth approaches me and pulls me into a warm hug.

"Missed you," he mutters against my ear. He's smiling as he pulls away. "Sorry I disappeared on you yesterday. I got a text from the coach at around three telling me our meeting was bumped up to eight. I had to book it back to make it in time."

"Oh."

"I just didn't want you to think..." his voice trails off, not needing to explain any further.

"It's all good," I tell him, my hand on his arm as I squeeze it reassuringly.

The remainder of our shoot goes on as normal. It's as if nothing at all has changed. Like I didn't just taste his lips a day and a half ago. It's an odd feeling, laughing with someone while trying not to give away just how much their presence is affecting you. By the time we're finished for the day, I'm weary from all the effort of trying to appear 'the good friend'.

Not for the first time, I find myself wondering if I'm strong enough to keep this up.

———

Over the next couple of weeks, we finish filming and decide that all of our hard work deserves a celebration. Since Christmas is just a couple of weeks away we plan for it to be a Christmas party. Actually, an ugly sweater party, to be exact. I'm beyond excited, but before I get to start planning for it, I first have to deal with my roommate. She pranked me with a bucket of oil above my door, so in return, I'm going to steal all her belongings right out from under her nose.