Once Upon Online

chapter 59

It's been a week since Ryujin passed. I still can't believe she's gone. Eva keeps looking for her. How do you explain to a two year old that the person they adore is gone forever? How do I move on without Ryujin?

This isn't what we expected when we thought about visiting Ryujin. Our plans included joyful moments and laughter. Memories, Ryujin and I were gonna share to our kids and grandkids. How her and I got together.

Today is gonna be Ryujin's funeral and visitation. Her family from California is here too. They can't believe Ryujin is gone too.

As I look around to see people that are here for Ryujin makes me sad and happy. I'm happy that she's loved by so many and I'm privileged enough to be one of those people. I'm sad because they're all here because of a tragic accident.

The guy that cause the accident is in jail but what's that gonna do? It doesn't make any of us feel better because Ryujin is gone and she's not coming back.

When I saw him at the police station, I wanted to kill him. My Ryujin is gone just because he thought replying to a text message is more important than keeping his eyes on the road. I lost the love of my life because of his stupid action. He's here alive while the person who should have lived is gone. Call me evil for wishing that he was the one to die and not Ryujin but I don't care.

Ryujin's family is not doing well. Mrs. Shin hasn't stopped crying since we found out at the hospital. Rosé and Lisa are trying to be the strong ones for the family. Mr. Shin is trying his best to comfort his wife. Karina and Travis are helping with Eva and Gabe. Yuna and I are about same, feeling numb. Just feels like we're floating in this reality, refusing to believe any of it is real.

Ryujin's friends are a mess too. Its actually really nice to see how deep their friendship was. They all adored Ryujin, I mean who wouldn't.

I go to Ryujin's room, wanting to be alone. We're all just waiting to leave to go to the funeral home. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the day, especially when it's time to bury her.

I start messing up her room, throwing pillows on the floor, sliding all her stuff that's on top of her dresser to the floor, punching her bed, I yank her blanket off the bed and I fall on my butt, crying hard once again. The pain won't go away. I start punching my chest to hopefully ease the pain but it's not working.

I hear the door open. "Yeji!" I hear Karina's voice. I'm immediately engulf into a hug and I cry even louder on her shoulder.

"Why does she have to be gone?!" I sob out loud, not caring that all my tears are ruining my sister's shirt.

"Ssshh I'm here, Yeji. I'm here" She whispers while rubbing my back.

"What am I gonna do?" I ask, still sobbing.

"You're gonna get through today because you're strong. You have Eva, me, our parents and even Travis. We're gonna get through this. Ryujin would want you to fight and live your best life" Karina says.

"What if I can't?" I start to hyperventilate.

"You will. And now thanks to Ryujin, you know that you deserve to be happy. Do what you enjoy in life. It's okay to grieve for losing someone you love but don't let it stop your life too. You and I both know Ryujin won't like that" She reminds me.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I got you water and it's time to go" Rosé says. I take the glass of water and I wipe my tears so we can leave.

I sit in the car looking out the window. Am I ready to see Ryujin's body. It's an open casket visitation. I feel my tears coming again so I quickly wipe them off.

After some time, we arrive at the funeral home. I see other people are arriving too and there's a lot of them.

Family and close friends enter the funeral home first so we can have privacy with Ryujin first. One by one, we went up front to have a moment with Ryujin.

When it's my turn, I hesitate if I want to see Ryujin in that condition but I want to see her one last time. I slowly walk to the front, holding my breath.

The moment I see her, I lose it. I couldn't hold back my tears and my heart aches even more. I look at her closely and I see her injuries from the accident. I know they tried their best to hide it.

"Ryujin. Come back please" I whisper.

"We still need to get married and raise our family together. I thought you would always be by my side? How could you leave me like this? I would rather have you break up with me than this. At least you'd still be alive. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I was being difficult. I'm sorry for not trusting you fully back then. I'm sorry for hurting you when you saw me with my ex" I take a deep breath.

"Also thank you. Thank you for making me want to be a better person. Thank you for teaching me to look at other people's perspective before I judge them. Thank you for protecting me and taking care of me along with Eva. Thank you for showing me what I'm worth. Thank you for not giving up on me even though I pushed you away a lot. I don't know what I ever did to deserve your love but thank you for loving me for who I am" I take another deep breath.

"I love you Ryujin. I will always love you. You complete my heart. Without you, a part of it will always be missing."