Once Upon Online

chapter 21

It's been a week since i found out about Ryujin. I've had some time to think about everything. Surprisingly, I was more mad at her for lying and not because she's a girl. I hate that I miss her.

Dana and I are back to normal I guess. Me pretending I'm happy with him. Acting like a family with Eva. I still don't feel anything when he kisses me and touches me though.

Today, we're going to Dana's parents house again. They invited us for dinner. Dana has been complaining because he doesn't want to see his gay sister.

I did unblock Ryujin from everything too. I kind of wish she would message me. I know I asked her to leave me alone and that's what she's doing but it kinda upsets me that she hasn't tried at all.

I'm assuming she's probably back with Lia now. Maybe she didn't really have feelings for me but again remembering all our conversations, I felt her sincerity.

I tell myself that I just miss talking to someone. And that I don't particularly miss her. Just her company.

My curiosity got the best of me though so I decided to message Lia instead.

kitty_purrfect: Hey, are you with Ryujin?

I wait for a reply. She probably won't reply but I still wanted to try.

I was surprise when she did reply.

liayah: no?

kitty_purrfect: I would have thought you'd be back together since her and I are done now

liayah: no. She disappeared about a week ago

kitty_purrfect: what do you mean she disappeared??

liayah: meaning she's gone. Nowhere to be seen or found.

kitty_purrfect: where did she go?

liayah: if we knew then I wouldn't say she disappeared.

Why am I worried about Ryujin? I don't care. It's her life.

I get ready for dinner which I'm not looking forward to. I'm not sure how Dana is going to react seeing his sister. I thought I would feel uncomfortable going to dinner with her around but I'm feeling fine right now.

Dana comes home and ask me if I'm ready. I take Eva and buckle her in the car.

"Dana, be nice to your sister okay?" I say to him when he got in the car.

"Why would I?" He ask me.

"I don't want drama tonight. My head hurts and I'm not in the mood to hear you two fight" I say while looking out the window.

He holds my hand, "Okay. I'll promise to behave."

I look at him and smile, "Thanks." He then leans in and gives me a kiss on the lips.

We arrive at the house and I shake my head when Dana doesn't bother to help me get Eva or grab her diaper bag. He just walks into the house.

"I'll make sure that you won't end up with a guy like your Dada when you grow up" I tell Eva.

We walk in the house and I see someone I've never met before.

Dana's mom grabs Eva from me and I look around to see where Dana went.

"If you're looking for your boyfriend, he's upstairs with his sister" the stranger said to me.

"I'm Jessica, Kiri's girlfriend" she introduce herself.

"Yeji" I simply say.

I stand there not knowing what to do so I walks to the living to sit on the couch without even saying anything else to Jessica.

Jessica follows me and sits in on the other end of the couch. "Are you against same sex relationships too?" She ask.

I think about my answer, "I honestly don't know. I used to be but now I'm not sure how I feel about it."

She smiles at me, "That's better than being against it I guess."

"Is it hard? Being in a relationship with the same sex?" I ask surprising myself.

"Why would it be hard? It would just be any other relationship. You have your ups and your downs. What matters is how you feel about each other. How you treat one another."

"How do you know you like girls?" I ask.

"You just know. A lot of people are also bisexual. They're attracted to men and women. Im bi but i lean towards women more but you can't really control who you fall in love with. So if I fall in love with a guy then I'll be with a guy but I happen to fall in love with Kiri" she answers.

"But if you're attracted to guys too. Why would you choose a girl? Wouldn't it be easier to be with a guy?" I don't understand why I'm so curious about this all of a sudden.

"Because I love Kiri. I want to be with her. It's my life and I don't think it's harder just because we're both women" Jessica says.

"Let me ask you something. I'm sure you and Dana have been together longer than Kiri and I. But can you say you're happy with him? I can say I'm happy with Kiri. Think back to where you first started dating, we're you happy back then? You can even go back to your previous relationships, we're you happy with them? Now think about the person that's making you curious about same sex relationships, does she make you happy?" Jessica ask making me choke.

"What? What are you talking about?" I say stammering.

"I'm sorry to assume but I am assuming there's a woman that's making you feel something but you're just feeling unsure" she says.

"I'm not gonna lie. I did feel something for her but she lied to me. She pretended to be a guy just to make me fall for her" I say.

"If that's really how you think then why do I sense you still have feelings for her and not hate her? Did she really lie to you with those intentions?" She ask, making me think.

"She says no. She said she was afraid" I say in low voice.

She was about to say something but Dana and Kiri shows up.

Kiri sits next to Jessica and kisses her while Dana takes my hand.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask as we enter the kitchen.

"I don't want you near them. They're gross" he says.

"What did you and your sister talk about?" I ask, curiously.

"She tried to explain herself to me. How love is love bullshit. It's so wrong. Did you see them kiss? Disgusting."

I did see them kiss and it didn't make me feel uncomfortable like it used to.

After my conversation with Jessica, I start to miss Ryujin more. I wonder what she's doing and where she is. I want to message her but my ego won't let me.

Dinner was very awkward. Dana kept glaring at Kiri and Jessica. He kept touching me throughout the night though so he probably wants to have sex when we get home later. Our sex life hasn't changed, he finishes and leaves me frustrated.

We get home and I bring Eva to her room. I go back to the bedroom and Dana grabs me right away and kisses me aggressively. I feel myself go numb whenever he touches me but I don't want to stop him because I don't want to explain to him why I don't want to do it.

I'm laying on my back while he's on top of me. I stare at the ceiling while I wait for him to finish. All I can think about is Ryujin.