High School Sweetheart <3

Part 79 (We Have A Choice)

Blake's P.O.V.

I know I'm being an asshole for treating Gaia the way that I did but I'm just worried. Of course I don't want her to get rid of the baby but, what else can we do? I can't lose her, I just can't. The only reason I argued with her about it is because I love her, but also can't ask her to get rid of our child. I decide to call her and apologize but she doesn't pick up so I call her mom...

"Mrs. K, is Gaia there?"

"No, she called me and said she was going to see Dr. Shields."

"What for?" I ask desperately.

"She didn't really say."

"All right thanks." I put on the first shirt I see and run like hell to the car. If she's going to see him it only means one thing, and I can't let her do it. If she gets rid of this baby she'll never forgive herself, and I'll never forgive myself for pushing her to it.

I park, and run to the building. But as I do, I see her walk out...

"Gaia!"

"Blake? What are you doing here?"

"Please tell me you didn't do it..." I cup her face and place my forehead against hers. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was being selfish."

"You thought I came here to get rid of our child?" She asks disappointed.

"Why else are you here?"

"He gave me an alternative."

"You should've asked me to come with you. What'd he say?"

"You would've just said no... Can we go home first?"

"Yeah." I take her to her car and follow her home.

I say hi to the kids and walk to the bedroom with Gaia. She sits on the bed indian style and I sit in front of her with my feet to the ground.

"What's the alternative?"

"It's something new they've been trying... Basically it's a c-section but they do it at the end on the seventh month of pregnancy. The baby will be premature and... maybe even die if the baby's not strong enough."

"They've done that before? Is that legal?"

"I don't know, but it's the only choice we have."

"How many times have they done it?"

"Just a few."

"And?"

"... Some died, the babies. Only one case both mother and child dies."

"Jesus!" I stand up and start pacing around the room rubbing my head. "No, it's not safe, no way."

"We should try it... the result will probably be the same if we don't. If it works they'll tie my tubes right there."

"It's now safe, Gaia."

"None of them are, Blake."

I don't say anything, I just look down and then at her. I just stare at her, reminding myself how much I love her...

"This is what you really want?" I ask her.

"Yes."

"This is all my fucking fault!"

"Would you stop blaming yourself?"

"Gaia if you die..."

"I love you, come here." She asks and I do. I sit in front of her again and she grabs my right hand with her left one and with her hand she caresses my face... "No matter what happens, you've alway been the one. And you're the only one I trust to take care of the kids."

"I'm barely home, babe. Yo/u've said so yourself from time to time."

"Please don't let them lose themselves." She says tearfully.

"Stop. Stop talking like you're gonna die."

"I'm scared."

"I'm scared too." I confess.

"I know I'm gonna sound selfish, but I don't want you to love another woman. I want to be your only one."

"I'll never love a woman the way I love you... I can't lose you. And if I do you better haunt me every night." I manage to make her smile.

"I don't want us to fight. I need you for this... I can't do this without you."

"I'm always gonna be here for you, forever."

"Forever may not be for long."

"G." I remind her to stop talking like that.

"Sorry."

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Months pass and I find myself standing heartbroken in front of a closed coffin about to be put in a 6 foot hole.

"You swore you'd never take it off, so you might as well take it with you." I cry as I place her necklace that had the ring I gave her in high school. "I promise I'll take care of the kids, I swear it on my life... I'll talk to them everday about you so they don't forget you."

They slowly place the coffin down and I can't help but cry. It's the first time I've cried like this in front of so many people. Then again, I am burying my wife.

"Blake?" Mrs. K. asks.

"Do you mind taking the kids? I'd like to stay a little longer."

"You stay as long as you need." She cries and leaves... And just like that I'm looking down at a grave, depressed, wanting her back..

"I know you said not to blame myself, but I can't help it... My life feels empty now, the kids don't understand what's going on. They think you're just sleeping." I huff. "I was supposed to go first, you were the one how was supposed to be in my place, looking down at my grave... But then again I wouldn't want you to feel this way... God, I love you." I continue to cry.

"I don't know how my life's supposed to go on without you." I say more calmly. "Just know that with you, you take my heart." I sniffle. "I miss you already and my love for you will never go away. Take care of us for now... I'll see you soon."

I stand up and place roses on her grave. I tell her my last goodbye and head on home to try and figure out how to continue my life without her...

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I literally CRIED! And I'm still crying! Your thoughts? Please don't hate me!