He Is Broken. // H.S.

36~Plan

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36~Plan

Harry's POV

I give her a small wave in return as I then watch her turn on her heel and enter through the doors of hell--Modest! Management that is.

I have no regret saying those words.

Anyways, I continue to drive down the rode I'm on, not really driving to a specific destination, just until I hear back from Everest. It would be a waist to go back home. By the time I would get home she would probably ring me to come pick her up. So for the time being, I decide to just take a peaceful drive throughout Las Angeles, taking in the scenery I've seen a million times. If you haven't noticed, I like LA, a lot.

Coming to a stop at a red light, I lean back in my seat sighing, running my ringed fingers through my wavy curls, removing my Ray-Bans from my eyes to rub them for a minute.

'Harry, pull yourself together! Why are you acting like this?' my mind cries 'What happened to us?'

"I don't know," I simply murmur back in hushed tone, then bite my lower lip harshly. "I don't fucking know."

In a way, I'm somewhat glad Everest is going. Everest doesn't know this and neither do the boys, but I still feel so... empty, inside, y'know? My mum is gone, my sister is gone, and my dad clearly wants nothing to do with me. I know I have Everest and the boys, but they aren't blood. The boys aren't my real brothers.

My family is nothing but a broken picture; torn and bent.

I haven't received anything from my dad, I'm not even sure if he's still in rehab. My mind often drifts towards the thought of him, wondering where he is, what he's up to now, how he is. But the sad part is is that I don't know any of those things. I'm still so angry at him, for leaving me when I needed him most. He left me to deal with all this weight by myself. Family's are supposed to stick together, right, no matter what shit happens? So how could he? How could he be such a coward and a dick to not even give me one simple phone call, telling me what's become of him?

I'm just so angry and sad and alone and empty! Faking every smile I can possibly pull, faking every laugh I can possibly let out, faking absolutely everything! I'm so tired of it. Hell, I'm tired period.

I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to tell Everest or the guys how I truly feel about all this. It would hurt them just as much as it hurts me. They've finally come to a realization that I'm somewhat "better" and that I'm happy once again, and I want them to keep that small piece of hope. But the thing is, I'm not even close to the word "better". So for now, I'm going to continue to keep this a secret, and I'm okay with that.

Finally opening my eyes, I look up just in time to see the light suddenly turn green, giving the accelerator a little power as I barely step on it.

Distracting myself from thinking any further, I turn on the radio, the song 'Take Me to Church' playing. Listening to the song, I sing some of the lyrics, warming up my rusted vocals for the tour. I can't believe our third tour will be coming up in a few weeks. Time has definitely flown. It feels good singing again. I haven't sang since... you know, I actually don't remember. Has it really been that long?