Serendipity [Sunsun Fanfiction]

Polaroid

!! TW // mention of accident

Kim Sunoo's POV

It has been a week ever since the incident at the bar.

"Fuck, what was I thinking?" I internally slapped myself for acting too reckless and letting my emotions control me.

I looked at the washed shirt that Hoon lend me the following morning. It looked weirdly familiar, so I tried recalling where I saw it.

Not too long, it finally dawned to me.

It was the shirt Hoon was wearing the night he told me he is leaving the country.

It was too familiar. It felt like that night was just yesterday's events. I can still feel his warm hug, his goodbye kiss, and every emotion I felt that night. It always brings me back.

I went to the bathroom and faced the mirror. I looked at myself, my sight blurry from the tears pooling and threatening to fall from my eyes.

I noticed how the color of my hair already looks faded. Jungwon, who insisted on visiting me earlier this week, decided to bleach and color my hair out of boredom.

I didn't care if it would look bad, no one would care, I wouldn't care.

After that drunk peck, I hate to admit it but, it felt like my world started spinning again. It was a feeling I wanted to feel again and again, even if it hurts. That night has been hunting me that I would start blaming myself for treating him badly ever since he came back.

With the thought of relieving the pain I am feeling, I have been avoiding him.

"Stop crying, Sunoo." I told myself and wiped the tears off of my face.

I drank water and decided that today, I'll return his shirt.

I would say, I really did not expect him to hug me just as soon as I showed up.

His warmth, his voice. It's everything I missed.

"How long do you want to suffer, hm?"  He asked me as he hugged me tightly.

I beat myself up for responding such a coward "I don't know," but I wanted to be honest. At least right now, I wanted to be honest to myself.

My mind went blank as soon as he pulled me in.

I was again intoxicated by his embrace, I didn't want to let go.

Not until someone showed up at the scene.

"Hoon?" I heard a voice from behind.

Of course, his girlfriend.

I looked down as soon as I recognized who owned that voice. I didn't know but it almost sounded sad, confused.

This isn't the right time for me and Hoon.

But when is? Will there be?

Is our time together really erased from the maps of our fate?

I walked out, hating to ruin someone else's relationship. It was for the best.

I locked my door once again, shutting everyone out. I heard him try to stop me, but my brain says no. My body says no.

But my heart wants. My heart wants to stay.

I walked around my unit as if it was my first time seeing it.

I saw my sister's picture on my bedside table. It was my favorite thing displayed in my room.

"Yah," I sniffed. "Why did I have to suffer this much?" I spoke to the picture frame, hoping that maybe she could hear me and give me the answers I need.

"I just wanted to love." I cried to her.

"But- But why does it seem so impossible?" I questioned as I hugged the frame to my chest.

I miss Sunhee. I miss my sister.

What caught my attention is a polaroid picture that was peeking out between my stack of books.

I grabbed it and looked at it with loving eyes.

I smiled at it, mimicking Sunghoon's smile at the shot.

Fuck, my heart hurts more.

Suddenly, a bell rang inside my head.

I should get over him soon. I should do this to not ruin anyone's relationship.

That night's promise, the promise we made under the night sky, it doesn't matter to me anymore.

I just want peace.

And maybe, burning this polaroid picture will be the first step to my peace.

I'll probably move out, too.

I searched over my place to find a lighter. I searched in my cabinets, drawers, but it didn't show up.

Tearing, maybe?

I attempted tearing it apart, but it feels like something is stopping me.

Suddenly, my phone rang loudly.

I skipped going to attend to the call before it drops.

"Hello?" I tried to speak.

"Hyung, hyung, Sunoo hyung, fuck." It was Riki.

"Riki? Wha- What's wrong with you?" Panic suddenly washed over me upon hearing the tone of his voice.

"Jake hyung, Jake hyung got into an accident. Hyung-" I cut him off.

"Where are you? Riki, answer me. Don't fucking panic, alright?" I tried to calm him down.

"Jungwon hyung isn't picking up. I told the others bu- but they might take too long. I was only informed, too. I-I am just on my way to the hospital." His voice was shaking.

"Hyung will be there, alright? Calm down Riki, we will all be there for Jake hyung. Be careful, okay?" I spoke to him as soft as possible.

Right, today is the day Riki is coming back from Japan. I remember talking to Jungwon about this.

I received the location of the hospital from Riki.

Fuck, Jake hyung. Please be okay.