Trusting Happiness

26 - Coffee and Pastries

Izzy

I knew they would be talking and I was intrigued to listen but they were too far off in the kitchen for me to hear and I didn't want to get caught so I just got ready for bed instead. This all had drained me and the thought of going to school tomorrow was the worst. I also didn't know whether or not to tell Ty about everything. His comment earlier still made me somewhat mad though I knew rationally that he just wanted to calm me down, cheer me up, whatever. I would just forget it and be fine with him tomorrow, I wouldn't get through the day without his company, this was one of the days where I would have wanted to skip school though. Maybe I could do that in a few weeks, who knew. Not that Carina and Maya would approve of that idea but they also didn't give off a too strict vibe. To get my mind off of things I started reading, my eyes almost fell closed when the buzz of my phone woke me again. It was Jo. *Did everything go fine with Carina and Maya? You feeling okay?* I smiled to myself. I was actually glad she cared. *Yes I went to bed after you left but we're fine.* I put both the phone and my book away now and finally fell asleep.

Maya was good at pretending like nothing ever happened, Carina on the contrary not so much or maybe it was me but it felt awkward with her. She wasn't distant or anything, just asked a hundred questions and tried too hard to be casual. She had to leave before Maya and me so Maya brought me to school and she would pick me up later. On the plus side that meant I didn't have to hang at the station after school, but it also meant I was going to be alone with Carina. "Have you calmed down about everything?" I glared at Ty. "Wow nice one." "What?", he asked confused. "You keep talking like I am absolutely crazy to worry, like you don't understand it one bit. I thought you'd get it, but here you go again." "What do you mean again? Is that why you didn't text me back yesterday?" "Go figure.", I huffed and kept walking to class. "Sorry Ell, I didn't mean to make you feel like that. Hey.", he had grabbed my arm and I intuitively shrieked back, frozen still and pressed my back against the lockers. Now he let go and stepped back from me too. "Ell." HIs voice was softer and I breathed deeply, moving forward to the class we were going to. "Ell I'm sorry, are you okay?" "It's all good." I tried to brush it off though I felt something bubbling up inside of me. We got to class and I had to concentrate hard to breathe and stay calm. As soon as the class started I asked for a hall pass and went straight to the toilets. 

I immediately locked myself in a stall and gasped for air, tears burning in my eyes. I tried to breathe out again slowly, just like Vic had done it with me before, just like Maya showed me that night. Breathe Ella, breathe. It was just Ty, he didn't mean to hurt you. I looked up desperate to stop the tears. Fuck fuck fuck this couldn't happen right now. Calm down. In and out. I was shaking now, still feeling the grip on my arm, trying to regulate my breathing and calm down. Slowly I was able to stop shaking. I got my breathing under control and managed to stop the tears that hadn't fully made their way out my eyes yet. I was gone way too long already, I had to get back to class. I came out of the stall and checked myself in the mirror, I wasn't looking my best but I didn't look like I had cried either. I hurried back to class now. Thankfully this teacher didn't really care about how long I was gone, I just felt Ty's look on me. Damn I wish I could leave, but of course I didn't have anyone to sign me out. I just had to pull through. I was zoned out the whole rest of the class and left as soon as it was over without waiting for Ty. "Ella, wait up." "We don't have a class together right now." "I know just wait, are you okay?" "Ty please just let it go, we're good, I need to get to class." The rest of the day I avoided him, left school the minute the bell rang and hoped that Carina was already here. But of course Ty did the same thing trying to talk to me. "I'm sorry, please don't avoid me, come on.", he was walking beside me. "I'm not.. I told you we're fine." "You're not acting like we are, are you heading to the station? I can walk with you." "No, Carina is picking me up, please just forget it okay?" I saw Carina's car pulling up and skipped ahead. "Ella." He followed me "Wait, come on, please." "No Ty, leave it!", I snapped. He had stopped and looked after me as I jumped into her car.