Trusting Happiness

20 - Responsibility

Maya

I looked over to Carina and Izzy and realised that she had moved a little closer but still held some space up between them. Today had been such a good day for us, she really started to open up and I had to keep remembering not to push her. She was so sweet, her curls fell over the blanket that she had wrapped around her and she looked tired. No wonder, the poor thing hadn't slept properly in days and I hadn't even noticed. I now looked at Carina, my perfect Carina, I couldn't believe that she loved me and that we both felt so protective over this girl that a week ago we didn't even know. I softly kissed her neck and smiled at her, in return she found my hand and softly let her fingers run over it. We finished the movie and realised that Izzy had fallen asleep, she laid next to Carina all curled up on her side. "Should we wake the bellina?", Carina whispered. "I think so, I promised her to go around and pull all the plugs." "Pull all the plugs?" "You'll see." I got up and knelt beside the couch to be on one level with Izzy. "Hey sleepyhead, let's move you to your bed, huh?", I spoke softly and she slowly opened her eyes until she found mine.

Blinking a few times she stretched and sat up. "Do you trust me to pull the plugs after we got you to bed or would you like to watch me do it?" "Watch you.", she then said with a raspy voice. "Okay."; I got up and turned the TV off and pulled the plugs. Went around the living room and kitchen now. Toaster, blender, lamp, microwave. "All done." She smiled lightly: "Thank you.". it was a whisper but I heard it. "I'll go to bed then. Goodnight.", she had gotten up and I went over to her. "Remember that you can come wake us up if you have another nightmare, you don't need to go through that alone.", I reminded her. I noticed that she nervously looked at Carina now. "Bambina like Maya said, no worries." She nodded now and went into her room.

I sighed and let myself fall back onto the couch and next to Carina. She let her fingers run over my arm lovingly and smiled at me. "My bella how are you feeling?" I breathed in deeply. "I'm kind of feeling everything. Carina I.. I feel SO much and it's kind of .. scary almost." She furrowed her eyebrows, her deep brown eyes focused solely on me right now. "I guess I didn't think that this would do these things to me, that I cared about her that much." I had to look up and pause for a minute, collect myself, and Carina let me do that. I looked at her again. "Did you know she has been having nightmares of the fire since it happened? She hasn't slept a full night's sleep for days, and when she wakes up from the nightmares she runs around the apartment unplugging everything because she is scared. And then once that is done she worries because I am at work. And then she doesn't dare to text me because she's scared that I will be mad or whatever. And she finally tells me all of this and my heart sinks Carina. It sinks so deep and I just.. I just get scared about how attached I am getting, about how attached she is getting, about the responsibility." The words came out like a waterfall, I hadn't allowed myself to think about them further but deep down I knew that that was what I was feeling. Carina's hands wandered to the sides of my face now, her thumb lovingly stroking my cheeks. She raised her brows. "It's much, I feel the same bambina and I know for you it is ... harder, but bambina look how far we've come, how far you've come, it's not bad that you feel all of that! It's beautiful and real! That girl, she starts to trust us and my heart breaks into a million pieces when I hear that she's suffering, but we are here and she is safe and that is... that is amazing Maya!" A tear escaped my eyes. "I know.. I know." Carina nodded reassuringly, her hands still on my face. She pulled me closer and kissed me deeply.

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I'm sorry that this chapter is rather short, but I felt it stood best alone, to let us know what Maya is feeling :)