Tribulation [h.s]

33

Thinking quickly, I take my hair out from its bun, removing every Bobby pin that held my hair back. Thank God – my hair is just barely long enough to cover the scars on the part of my back that's exposed. That's a relief. "Black dress it is," I mutter to myself, thoughtlessly throwing the bobby pins into my purse.

As I slip on the black pumps that came with the dresses that Harry sent me, my phone that I had haphazardly thrown on my bed buzzes.

Harold
Received - 6:30pm
Be there in 15

Anxiety bubbles in my stomach. Oh jeez. I can't believe I'm doing this tonight. I've done a lot of things but stealing from a Curator? Now that's a new one.

I walk to the kitchen, and I feed Cheddar dinner and make sure he has clean water. I give him more than I usually do, and he seems delighted.

I don't know if I'll be coming back tonight.

I need to relax.

So, while awkwardly waiting on the couch for Harry to arrive, I decidedly FaceTime Julie. Only a few rings go by before she answers.

"Hey, what's up?" She props her phone up in her kitchen. She's cutting up some potatoes before putting them in a boiling pot of water.

"Is Bug still awake?" I want to see Maggie. She always makes me feel okay.

Maggie's hands wrap around the edge of the counter then and, standing on her tiptoes, I just barely see her little eyes peek at Julie's phone. I laugh.

"Hi, Allie!"

"Hi, Mags. Are you being good?"

"Yeah. Me and Aunty J are watching Ariel! And- and she's making mash tatoes and chicken."

"Mashed potatoes, Mags," Julie corrects.

"Oh yeah?" I smile. "You're really not watching Frozen?"

"Oh, we're watching that after!" Maggie says triumphantly, bouncing up and down.

"Well, it looks like you two are having so much fun." Julie's face says it all – help me. I laugh again, and I find myself wishing I could be with them two right now.

"Yeahhh," Julie sighs and shakes her head. "One of us is," she grumbles low enough, so Maggie doesn't hear.

I know what she means. There are only so many times I can listen to Let it Go without wanting to rip my hair out. "How are you feeling, Julez?"

"Well, my feet are sore, and- oh, I forgot to tell you that the morning sickness is finally kicking in."

I cringe. I remember when my mother was pregnant with Maggie and her morning sickness kicked in. Morning sickness can be absolutely dilapidating. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

I see Maggie walk back to the living room from the corner of the camera. "Nooo, I'm okay," she smiles just barely. "I have to be okay, ya know?"

"You don't have to be okay, Julie. I'm pretty sure it was you who told me it's okay not to be okay."

"But, I have to be. I'm... I'm going to be a mom."

I sigh, wishing I could help her get through this messy situation. "One thing I've learned from raising Maggie is — you're not always going to be perfect. But, parenting isn't about being perfect. You're bound to fail at some point. Patenting is about striving to be perfect. They deserve the best version of you so that you can raise the best version of them. But, we're not superhuman." Julie nods slowly at what I say. "We aren't perfect, and that's okay. Loving them and giving them all that we can — that's all we can do." When she says nothing, I speak up again.