Chapter 19

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Natalie:

            It had been a week since he left. I expected him to call back, but he never did. I've been in my room, too low to even force myself to move from my room, let alone my bed.

            A sudden knock on my door made me jerk into an upright position.

            The knob turned and opened slightly. A head peeked through.

            "Hey, Leelee," Delilah said as she came walking through the door. She plopped down on my bed next to me.

            "Hi," I mumbled. I tried to force out a smile.

            She looked at me and sighed. "I'm sorry, Natalie," she blurted.

            I shrugged. "It's okay. It's not like it matters anymore. Even if you did tell me, it would've been too late to change his mind."

            "That's not true," she quickly disagreed. "You know he would've turned that car around if he knew you loved him."

            I shook my head lowly. "I don't think so, Delilah. He's probably just as disappointed in me as I am. I mean, wouldn't you be crushed if your best friend didn't even know who you were?"

            Delilah stayed silent. There was no way of answering without hurting me. Well, I've been fragile for the past couple of weeks.

            "Well, do you still love him?" she asked.

            This caught my attention. There was something about that question just made my body freeze.

            "I--I--" I paused and tried to collect my thoughts. "It's not that simple."

            "You said that falling in love wasn't that simple the first time I asked you." Exactly. This whole thing wasn't simple. It felt great and horrible at the same time. Love has its ups and downs. It's an unexpected roller coaster ride. She continued, "Now that you've fallen in love, you're telling me it isn't simple? Honey, please take a look at where you are now. Of course, it’s not supposed to be simple. But it’s worth every damn second."

            Through the muddle of words and thoughts in my head, one thing was evident…

            "I love him," I finally said out loud. It felt great to say too. "But, what am I going to do?"

            “I’m going to sound so cliché when I say this but,” She put her hand on my shoulder. "Do what your heart tells you to do," she advised. 

            "But, I've already lost him," I replied. "I'm afraid... I'm too late."

            She smiled hopefully. "It's never been too late for you and him. He's been waiting for you since the day you've guys met. And I don't think you need to be scared of losing him either. He's always been here, whether you knew it or not."

            She lifted up my wrist and jingled the charms hanging on my wrist.

            I laughed through my tears. I embraced Delilah tightly. She’s probably the most motherly figure in my life and I couldn’t have been more grateful.

            I wiped away my tears. "But, I don't know where to go from here," I said honestly.

            "Just listen to your heart.” Delilah echoed her earlier statement and smiled sweetly.

            I shrugged. "Sometimes my heart stays silent."

            "Just be patient," she told me. "In the mean time, want to grab frozen yogurt?” she offered. I couldn’t help but smile at her invitation.

            I thought about it for a while. Maybe if I just listened for a little while, my heart will answer. Just wait.

            "It's okay, you go ahead. I need some time to think," I declined.

            She nodded. "Okay. See ya," she said and walked out of the room, leaving me.

            Listen to your heart. It’s so cliché but I could have lived a thousand lifetimes before without actually following my heart. Come to think of it, I haven’t been listening to my heart recently at all.

            I was determined not to let that happen. Not this time. 

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