All For A Daisy

Chapter 8

            I walked slowly and steadily towards the delicate daisy resting on the bench next to a piece of paper with a ribbon tied around it.

            I glanced up once, hoping to find my secret admirer somewhere around.

            I sighed and picked the daisy up. I picked up the letter and untied the ribbon and unrolled it.

            I read it to myself.

            Dear Natalie,

            I know you came here to meet your secret admirer. I know that you think I'm your prince in shining armor or something. Truth is, I'm not at all. I'm just a guy with a really big heart. I think that's all I can offer. I can't assure happiness. I can't assure I would be the best boyfriend either. It really sucks not knowing who you’re falling in love with. It sucks for me too because I can't stay away from you. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just pulled into you. I try to hold myself back but I always come back to you. I really tried to tell myself to stop loving you. But we all know that we can't control what we feel. I tried to hide my feelings from you, hoping they would go away. I was completely wrong. I know that now because I've tried to stop my heart from loving you.

            But, that's just it. I can't stop loving you. I need you in my life and I don't even think I can live without you. You're like sleep to me. Usually guys would compare girls to their oxygen but I'm comparing you to sleep. Because even though you try to stop yourself from sleeping, you end up falling asleep anyway. And even though you try to wake yourself up, you don't want to because of the most wonderful dreams you're having. You're just like that. I really tried to stop myself and I even tried to wake myself. I can't. And I don't think I want to.

            I know practically everything about you and you know everything about me. With you, it's like I have everything by my side. I know that I'm up and happy when you are. I don't want to fly if you’re still on the ground. I don't even try to hide the tears when I cry. I'll share with you all my deepest secrets and fears because nobody gets me like you do. I can't be myself with anyone else. We're just small-town kids, living in a crazy world. Trying to figure out what is and isn't true. I know the love that I feel for you is true. Because, I'm only me when I'm with you.

            But get ready for the letdown. I'm not your prince charming who's going to sweep you off your feet. Even though you've always expected me to reveal my identity to you at the end of this game, I don't know if I can anymore. Don't be disappointed. Please, please, please try to understand.

            I know it's not fair because you never get to know who I am. But I don't want it to cost your heart being broken. I love you so much. I want you to know that I love you too much to see you hurt. You're in love with Cam, Natalie. I know that. I can see that you love him dearly. But let's face it, Natalie. I'm never going to be a Cam. I'm just going to be me. And I'm afraid I'm just not going to be good enough in your eyes. I'm never going to be good enough. Through this whole experience, I just wanted you to know I love you. I wanted you to know what I feel is true. I love you so much that I don't want to force you to decide between me or Cam. I don't want to ever put you in a situation where you'd have to feel that kind of pain. I don't ever want to break your heart. I don't ever want you to have to make the decision I had to make.

            If you think I gave you all these gifts to win you over, you're wrong. I gave you all these gifts to represent something. I didn't only pick a daisy over a rose because it's your favorite flower. I picked it because you are my daisy. Out of all the other bouquets of roses, you're the only daisy. You're the only reason why I did all of this. You're so special and different. You're the only one I can actually talk to, the only one I can actually understand and listen to, the only one who can make me laugh while there's tears in my eyes, the one I shared the best moments of my life with, the one I never want to forget...

            Through all the other flowers in the garden, I picked you.

            I'm your secret admirer; the wimp, the disappointer, the inexperienced one, the stupid one... the one who you'll never love.

            I just have to face the fact that I waited for too long. I'm just too late. You've fallen in love with someone else before I could take off my mask.

            So, I'll just keep it on and call it a fairytale gone wrong. Midnight has stroke. Our fairytale is over. It's time to go home. It's time to face reality. It's time to wake up from the beautiful dream. It's time to let you go even if my heart doesn't want to.

            I love you, but I can't have you. But I still want you to be happy, even if it means you being with him instead of me. So, just go out there and love him with all your heart.

            Just remember, I love you, Natalie. Everything I do is all for you, my daisy.

Always,

Your Secret Admirer

            I wanted to pinch myself to see if this was actually happening. My secret admirer...

            How can you even describe a person like this? A guy who could just make you fall in love with him and just walk away? A guy who made the choice for me to save me from pain? A guy who loved me enough to let me go?

            I blinked and watched the tears fall on my beautiful, white dress. How could he do this to me?! How could he?! Just let me down after all of this?! Why did he do this for me?! Why did he have to love me?! I don't deserve to know someone loves me that much to let me go! I totally screwed this up! But...why?! How could he let me go if I meant so much to him?! Couldn't he just wait?! Couldn't he just reveal himself?!

            I looked up and wiped my tears. I shook as I sobbed loudly. I wanted to scream my head off and just go in fetal position to cry even more! I never expected him to just... let me go. I wish he didn't walk away. I wish he never started loving me. I wish I was still his beautiful dream.

 +++

            It was hard to decide which question to answer. All these questions had the complete opposite answers.

            I heard another rustle of leaves.

            I groaned. "Whoever you are, you can come out now!" I demanded.

            Then, a dark figure stepped out of the dark and into the moonlight.

            I gasped. The familiar body-shape and face could never fool me. Especially those bright, blue eyes.