All For A Daisy

Chapter 16

Jake:

            I know it may seem pathetic for boys to cry. But I never thought so. I always wanted to prove to people it's okay to cry sometimes. Especially at times when you lose hope in something you love.

            How exactly do you move on when you can't let go of the past? How can I move on when I'm still in love with her?

            Maybe, I really can't live without her.

            I was packing to leave for L.A. Maybe moving out with my brother could possibly be good for me. Maybe it would give me the chance to get away from everything. I left my final letters for my mom and my dad. Everything was all set. I was set to leave everything behind.

            Or was I?

            I had my suitcases packed. When I finally zipped it up, I plopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling with my hands behind my head.

            How can you forget something that changed your life so drastically? How can you want to forget?

            I pulled my bags down the stairs and placed them next to the staircase. I wanted to say goodbye before I left everything behind.

            I tried to remember all of what has happened in the past months. It's just so hard to leave everything behind.

            The memories and the things and people who made them.

            I took a deep breath and picked up my phone.

            First, I dialed up Delilah.

            "Hey, Delilah."

            "Hey, Jake. What's up?"

            "Just getting ready for my flight."

            I heard her sigh. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

            I nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure."

            "Well, if there's no way for me to stop you... I'm going to miss you."

            I nodded. "Me too, Delilah. Me too."

            "I'm sure she'll miss you too."

            But she didn't even know. She never answered her phone or anything. Whenever I went to her house, her dad would say she was in her room and wanted to be alone. I felt as though she was closing herself from the rest of the world.

            "Maybe. Just tell her goodbye for me."

            "Or you can try calling her again," she suggested.

            I thought about it. "I'll give it a try."

            "Good. I'm going to miss you so much, Jake. And you're frozen yogurt obsession!"

            I laughed. "Thanks. I feel so loved," I said sarcastically.

            "Well, you should. But seriously, I will miss you like hell. Call me when you get to California."

            "Sure will. Bye."

            "Bye, Jake!"

            Maybe I will try calling Natalie... one last time.

            I dialed Natalie's number, hoping she'd be able to talk to me. The whole break with Cam made her so sad lately. She'd tried to fake everything now. She faked how happy she sounded but we both knew what was true. I wanted to hear her voice before I left. After a few rings, it went straight to voicemail.

            "Hey, Natalie. This is Jake. I've been trying to call you a few times to tell you that I'm moving to L.A. with my brother. I'm finally leaving and I just wanted to say goodbye. I know I should be doing this in person, but I didn't want to make you even more miserable with everything else going on. So that night... the night we kissed really was the last time we saw each other. I'm sorry. I really am. I wish I could give you more than what I'm giving you now. I guess we were too caught up in the moment to realize the things we needed to do. And," I sighed. "I love you, Natalie. Goodbye."