Someone Out There Loves You (Adopted by Frank Iero)

96

ALEXA

While Frank was showering and getting ready to go out for lunch with Jamia, I was busy making sure everyone was still prepared for today and that there wasn't some secret pact between the guests to not turn up. The thought was making me nauseous, but even the number of confirmation texts wouldn't settle the butterflies in my stomach - nothing would until I was sure the party was going well.

A depressing birthday was a whole different kind of disappointment. Unfortunately, it was one I had grown familiar with.

You don't want to get your hopes up because you know whatever you have in mind will never be met. You know no one cares enough to make it happen for you, and yet you still hold onto this tiny sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, this year will be different. That this is the year that someone will care enough to make me feel special. I've come to learn that a lot of that is delusion. Wanting to matter to someone, only instead it's a painful reminder as to how little you do matter.

I didn't want that for Frank.

That was why I was so highly strung over it. If people bailed and his surprise party was a flop, not only would it feel like a failure on my part, I would feel awful for letting Frank down, even if he was blissfully unaware that anything was meant to happen in the first place.

He deserved the world to get together and sing him a mass happy birthday, something that I would personally find mortifying but he would simply giggle and relish in it. He deserved so much more than what I could ever give him - that was the thing that really sucked. But instead of sinking into that hopelessness of never being able to do enough for the greatest person alive, I was determined to do what I could.

When there was a knock at the front door I jumped up from the kitchen chair so fast it nearly tipped over. Jamia was letting herself in as I skidded around the corner. My excitement grew.

"Hey Jamia!" I beamed.

At the sound of her name, Jamia looked over her shoulder to see me clambering towards her, a bright smile on her face. "Hello lovely! How are you?"

"I'm good! You look really pretty."

Jamia laughed lightly and smoothed out her black dress. "You're so sweet," she cooed, before adding, "I hope your dad thinks so too."

I shot her a look and placed my hand on my hip all sassy like. "Are you kidding me? He's literally obsessed with you!"

Jamia flashed me a smile and we headed down the hall towards the kitchen.

"Don't tell him I told you, but he's spent like, an hour getting ready. What does he need to do that takes an hour?!"

A blush crept over Jamia's cheeks but she didn't look at all surprised. In fact, she was rolling her eyes. I suppose Frank had been smitten for years now, and he really wasn't the type to be subtle about it.

"He's an odd one," she said endearingly.

"Who's an odd one?"

We heard Frank before we saw him, his voice echoing through the house. Jamia and I held in snickers.

When he came into vision and saw both of us, his face lit up like the best damn thing he could ever imagine was in front of him. Kind of like me when Frank told me he wanted to be my dad. Or when I open the guitar case that holds Pansy. Or if I was standing in front of an all you can eat sushi buffet. Maybe if all three of those things were happening at once.

"Hey beautiful," he greeted Jamia before pecking her on the lips.

I quickly turned my back to them and busied myself by grabbing a drink, but really I was just trying to not scream at how much I loved them and how perfect they were together. My hand squeezed the glass to keep silent when I heard Frank add, "You look absolutely breathtaking."