I love me

Chapter 6

I eventually got home and immediately made my way to the kitchen. After this long day some hot coco would be amazing.

Looks like I made it home just in time. My parents pulled up minutes after me. If they knew I was at Tay's without permission from them, I'd be in deep shit. I'm probably in deep shit anyways, depending on how fast a rumor can spread. Usually my mother finds out about any news concerning me. Like I said, she knows everybody. She sees just about the whole town every single day at the pharmacy.

I quickly rushed to my room and took out my books so I could look busy when my parents came in. I heard the door open and kept my eyes locked on the pages of my math book. I'm terrible at lying so it's better not to look my mother in the eyes.

I was confused when I didn't hear her speak up so I turned around. I rolled my eyes so hard that they almost got stuck at the back of my head. There Seth was, in the doorway. He was wearing nothing but a towel. The look he gave me almost straight up killed me. I wasn't going to give in this time. He can get dressed somewhere else if he's really that bothered.

When he saw that I wasn't leaving, he stepped into the room and closed the door. I didn't plan for this part. "Where were you all day, mutt?" I know he didn't care, he was just looking for an opportunity to insult me. Nothing new here.

"Why does it matter to you? I can go where I want." I don't know what got into me. I'm scared shitless, yet I'm being sassy with Seth. We're talking about the same Seth that once was the reason I had to get stitches on my forehead.

This time he didn't look taken aback by my newfound confidence. God knows where I got it from. "Yeah, except I'm pretty sure you didn't ask your parents. I guess I better not snitch." He said with a smirk. I just wanted to punch that smirk off of his face. Before I could say anything, he dropped his towel casually right in front of me. This was something I could never unsee for as long as I lived.

I quickly looked away and got up to leave the room. As I left, I could hear Seth chuckle while mumbling a few words under his breath. "Fucking fag." I barely caught them, but it was enough to send me straight to tears. I've never been called that before. Is this what school will be like now? I rushed into the bathroom so nobody would see me. Does he know? If he does, what will stop him from telling my parents?

All of this would be so much easier if I wasn't alive. How could I live like this any longer? I'm a problem to everyone. To society and even my own family. Nobody can live like this. I wouldn't be missed if I just disappeared. I mean sure, maybe Taylen would miss me, but ultimately she would be better off without me.

I sat on the bathroom floor while the tears started streaming down my face. My eyes connected with the razor on the edge of the bathtub. My thoughts were numbed as my hands slowly gravitated towards it. I grabbed it and examined the sharp razor blades. My mind wasn't with me anymore.

I brought the razor up to my mouth and bit down on it, freeing the blades from the plastic casing. I could feel the cold, lifeless metal falling into the palm of my hand.

I was interrupted when I heard a sudden knock on the door. I quickly threw everything into the trash can and tried to cover it up with crumpled toilet paper. What the actual fuck was I thinking?!

"Who's a-at the door?" I tried to speak with as little emotion as possible. I heard my mother speak from the other side. "I heard some noises in here. It sounded like you were crying, what's wrong?"

"I wasn't crying. I'm fine, really." I said with a short forced laugh at the end. If only I could actually talk to her.

My mother laughed along like everything was fine. "I hoped you would say that. Dinner will be ready in a few, I'm making pizza!" I mumbled a short 'okay' before hearing her footsteps disappear down the stairs.

I washed my face and cleaned up any evidence of my tears. My father can in no way, shape, or form, know that I have cried. I don't want another lecture about 'what being a man is all about'. My parents are so disconnected from reality it's not even funny.

This wasn't the first time I've thought about dying. It also wasn't the first time I tried to act on it. There were a few other occasions. I don't know why I'm this messed up. I just know that I'll never be happy as long as I live in this house. I've never felt safe or loved around my parents.

I can't remember ever feeling happy. All I remember is my parents telling me to 'look' happy. For as long as I can remember, my parents only cared about their image. They only cared about their religion, and nothing has changed. I might be gay, and I'm immediately faced with the fact that my parents care more about the Bible and their religion than they do about their own child.

I shook my head and made my way back to my room. Seth better be dressed when I get there. I can't be in the bathroom for too long.

I briefly knocked on the door before I swung it open. I might get kicked out soon, so the best I can do is enjoy my time here.

Seth was startled at my sudden entrance and quickly hid something behind his back. I don't think I want to know what it was. "Don't you know how to knock you idiot?!" Something was terribly wrong. I could swear he was blushing. Is he embarrassed? "Uh yeah, I do. Also I did knock. Did you not hear it?" I acted confused. He just huffed and stomped out of the room.

I closed the door and smiled to myself. Aiden: one, and Seth: zero. Maybe a little bit of confidence is just all I need to make a change in my life. If I show everyone at school and at home that I'm not scared, they won't be able to touch me.

Watch out everyone. Hide your kids and your husbands because Aiden Richards is on the loose, and he's not scared of anything this time.