I love me

Chapter 3

-Aiden

I spent the rest of the school day looking around to see if Ryan and I had any more classes together, and we did. I already knew we had geography together from the little incident in first period. We also had maths and science together. Coincidentally I had my three favorite subjects with my new favorite friend. Yes. He is my friend. Or maybe my acquaintance. Details aren't important.

He was annoying. When I didn't see him, I couldn't concentrate because I spent the whole time thinking about what he's doing. When I did see him, again, I couldn't concentrate because I was staring at his back the whole time. I hope it wasn't too obvious. I already get bullied enough for allegedly being gay when I don't even know for myself. Although, I'm starting to think they might be correct.

The school day went by surprisingly very quick. I practically bolted out of the classroom as the last bell rang. Part of me really wanted to see him in the hallway and the other part of me wanted to rush out of the school grounds so I wouldn't have to see him at all.

This shit was seriously messing with my head. I have no idea how I could be this attracted to him. I don't even know him. I know his name, and I know that he's absolutely gorgeous. I know that he has a perfect smile and perfect teeth. It's also perfectly normal for one guy to admit that another is attractive. Except I didn't want it to be a normal occurrence. Whenever I see him I just want him to notice me and smile at me with those kind eyes.

I made my way through the crowded hallways of the school. My eyes were absentmindedly searching for a slightly tall, brown-haired boy. I don't want to talk to him, but I just want to see him.

I'm not scared to admit that I might have a little crush on him, but this happens all the time with men. Men want to kiss other men all the time and be their boyfriend. Right? I'm not gay. I'm not gay? I can't be gay. I'd get disowned.

Despite my mind going on a rant, I was still searching for Ryan. When I realized what I was doing I quickly stopped myself. This isn't good for me. I kept my eyes glued to the ground and hastily started walking towards the exit of the building so I could just finally relax. My hands were gripping at the straps of my backpack.

I need to get home and come up with a plan. Any plan that will make me focus on something other than this Ryan guy. Apart from the fact that he's a boy, I'm also not used to someone taking up so much space in my mind. This can't be healthy for the soul.

It's settled then. I hold my head high as I walk through the halls of the school feeling satisfied with my new plan of action. Good things are coming, oh yes they are.

With the exit in view, I thought I finally made it. I stood still in front of the doors for a second to pat down my shirt. I will walk out of here with pride. I made my way towards the bright outdoors. No Ryan, no problem.

As I opened the door to leave, I could feel a weight at the other end. When I forcefully pushed the door open all the way, the only thing I saw were arms and legs fighting to grab the railings while the body of said person was rolling down the stairs.

I quickly rushed to the person to see if they were okay. When I got closer, I could feel all of the blood draining from my face. I stood frozen just staring at him and watching him get up. "R-Ryan!! I'm so sorry! I was just leaving and I-I didn't see you! I promise! I'm so so sorry."

He looked at me with annoyance etched into his features. I could feel my heart beating in my stomach. "You know, you should really watch where you're going next time." He scoffed and turned around before picking up his backpack and walking out of sight.