DAMAGED

33.

"Shouldn't we be heading to Luke's?"

James checks the time on his watch and shakes his head. "We still have time."

I nod, looking around.

James and I are seated in the local diner, the one everyone loves coming to. It has the best customer service and the food is really good. It even has a nice, warm vibe going on; one that forces you to relax, unlike the one the girls and I went to.

That one is located on the far side of town. The faster paced side of town.

"We haven't been here in a while." James mentions looking around. "It feels kinda weird."

He's not lying. It does. We used to come here all the time, but that stopped when I started pushing all of my friends away.

Honestly, even though everyone has told me that they understand and that I don't need to feel bad or even apologise, I still feel bad for doing that to them. They didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

My guilt as well as desire to make it up to my friend is one of the many reasons I told him that we needed to talk.

There is just so much we have to talk about.

Starting with Jason. James still hasn't told me anything about the situation.

And then there is Angelica. I'm not going to push him to talk about her though.

Him and Camilla have been kinda off lately. I'd like to know about that situation too.

"You wanted to talk?" James asks, sitting up.

I chase my meal around on my plate, taking a second to think... to gather my words into coherent sentences.

I stab the meatball and fly it into my mouth. My stomach accepts the food, pleased with me for finally eating something today.

I look up at James, a tad bit excited that I can finally talk to him.

"I thought we could check in on each other. Like we used to." I say and he nods, agreeing with me.

I take another bite of my meal, preparing myself to respond to whatever word might come out of his mouth next.

James and I do this every few weeks. We come to this diner and each take turns mentioning our concerns. We have a rule: you can not lie.

James always likes saying: "honesty is the best policy" and we've both taken that to heart over the past years.

"Aren't you going to mention something?" I ask when a few seconds pass by without him speaking.

He shrugs. "I'm waiting for you."

"Oh." I nod, liking that I get to go first.

I think about whether I should ask about Angelica, Camilla or Jason.

"Jason." I finally decide.

"Damn. Do you really want to start off there?"

I nod, tired of being kept in the dark.

"Can't you ask me for something else, Isa? That one is just too-"

"I don't understand why you insist on keeping me in the dark." I interrupt only to receive a blank stare from James.

He runs his hand through the curly mess on his head, looking away with a heavy sigh.

"You don't tell me anything anymore. You disappear randomly and you keep taking secretive calls. What happened to keeping me in the loop?"

A second sigh fills my ears.

"It's better this way." He answers.

"Better for who?"